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GROOMING TALK: INTRODUCTORY RITUALS - Coggle Diagram
GROOMING TALK: INTRODUCTORY RITUALS
RULES OF INTRODUCTION
(they are called "rules" but they are just ways of behavior)
Weather talk
Greetings
(conversational greetings that can range from very formal, slightly formal, super formal)
ECHOIC QUALITY
, non-content-based > "How do you do?" is not a question but a greeting, you respond "how do you do?"
CRYSTALIZED RESPONSES
, in cases where the echoic quality does not function > it sounds like a question, but is a greeting, so you answer that question on the base of the most conventional way you find > "How are you?" "Fine, thanks" (not "Bad, thanks") > conventional rather than content-based anser
THE AWKWARDNESS RULE
> introductory sequences tend to be clumsy
SHAKING HANDS
is inappropriate > informal and markedly detached (not too direct)
HUGS AND KISSES
: markedly informal, signaling a certain degree of intimacy (you are getting physical > non appropriate) > a simple "Hello", informal, respectful and detached
THE NO-NAME RULE
> starting a conversation by using their name (you are imposing a sort of informal ground in your conversation)
Avoid imposing your persona (name as conversation opener)
Exchange names "achieved in a casual, unforced manner" > "Sorry I didn't catch your name"; "by the way, I'm Billy" (you already went through that problematic stage of the name > less face threatening
GOSSIPING
invasion of someone else's privacy (not your own or your interlocutor's) as a pragmatic facilitator
Female feedback rule: surprise, animated backfire comment (showing enthusiasm/shock - "NO! Really?", "OMG")
Male feedback rule: rejection
THE GUESSING NAME RULE
> you avoid asking names and you do your best you can to provide that information (you insert hints that you wish your interlocutor is going to detect)
Never ask/say directly
Find indirect ways/helpful clues to enquire/inform about your interlocutor's/your private sphere
THE RECIPROCAL DISCLOSURE RULE
Principle of symmetry or balance, "out of reflex politeness, to reciprocate with a comparably personal disclosure"
Place information about yourself to make your interlocutor reciprocate with similar information > "I usually don't watch TV, but when I do I usually watch very old movies" "I like old movies myself!"