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Energy Rising - Coggle Diagram

- - - - Expand the Edge of Emotional Power
        
        What is emotional edge?
        --> It describes the amount of energy your nervous system can hold while you remain connected to your power. It’s the outermost amount of sensation you can tolerate before you become emotionally unsteady.
        
        2 ways of imbalance
        
        Hyperarosed
        
        The sensations in your body feel too big
        
        Ex: too anxious, too angry, too overwhelmed, your heart is pounding, your hands are sweating, your thoughts are racing...
        
        Hypoaroused
        
        Your emotional state is under-active
        
        Ex: numb, flat, depleted, depressed, sluggish, zone out, disconnected
        
        Your goal is to try to expand your edge—augment it so you can hold more neurologic energy. When you expand your edge, your brain will stay centered in the same situations that previously would have caused it to become hyperaroused or hypoaroused.
        
        How to expand the edge?
        
        PICK A MORE POWERFUL PAIN
        (or choose to change)
        
        If you chronically feeling bad or find urself on the same problems over & over, chance that you are stuck because you are finding the perfect solutions.
        Perfect solutions don't exist, because they mean the total absence of pain's energy, which is scientifically impossible.
        --> What you need is not a perfect solution, but a powerful one.
        
        A powerful solution is choosing a powerful pain by first clearly understand the pain and then pick a more powerful, the one that will ultimately make you stronger because you're able to hold more emotional energy
        
        Ask yourself a question: Which pain do I choose? In a life where there is no pain-free option, which pain do I genuinely choose?
        
        Note that you need incremental changes, you don't lift 20 pounds one day and then lift 40 the very next.
        In each phase of change, you are empowered to evaluate how the situation is working for you
        
        Regardless of what you decide, it's soothing to realize that if you want to engineer your life in emotionally powerful ways, there's really only 1 mistake you can make: Continue doing the same thing you already know is hurting and expect a different result.
        --> Your emotional power expands at the edge of your old behavior
        
        The brain's primary function is to keep you alive. When facing changes, even though you are in pain, the brain has a lot of evidences that you will survive (despite a lot of pain), but when you change, it does not know if you can make it --> So the first reaction when changing is the intense increase in fear and all pains/emotions
        If you have never held a boundary before, the holding of a new boundary will initially feel like terror. So what. To change, you must understand there is an other-worldly difference between being in danger and feeling in danger.
        
        Going after what you want in your life is powerful precisely because it is painful. It’s so natural to admire people who really go after their dreams because, even if we don’t consciously state it, we all recognize the deep vulnerability and terror associated with risking so much for the things we desire so deeply.
        
        There’s something to understand about the way your brain processes pain that is quite astonishing: it is often the anticipation of pain that is more painful than the pain itself.
        --> it’s your fear of pain that is often more painful than the actual pain you experience.
        
        HOLD YOUR EMOTIONAL SHAKE
        
        Like a person who lift a weight that is more than their capacity, the muscle naturally shakes. Instead of seeing the shake as "weakness", it actually is a sign of strength improvement.
        --> Being able to hold your shake is a skill that helps
        
        2 steps to hold your emotional shake
        
        Create an "emotional weight" list
        
        Rank five to ten activities by the distressing “shake” they cause you. Any activity that causes you to feel shaky can go on your list.
        Don’t think of the substance of the activity, but the emotional intensity it produces inside of you.
        
        pick one of these activities to train on.
        You want a level of resistance that is neither too easy nor too hard but just right (only you know the level of resistance that's right)
        
        Continue to do the chosen activity until the shake no longer pains you
        
        You can’t go to the gym once and expect lasting change. You need to work repetitively with your emotional resistance to get stronger.
        Your goal is not to get the shake to zero though. The goal is not to make you totally relax but to calibrate your energy to its optimal level
        
        This is called “habituation,” a well-studied neuropsychological phenomenon that simply means you repeatedly expose yourself to something that initially pained you and, after repeated exposures, your brain learns—through the evidence you present to it—that the thing it thought was dangerous is not dangerous.
        
        Exercise: Pick a more powerful pain
        
        Identify my deepest emotional desire by asking: What do I truly want?
        
        I want to feel freer and safer
        
        Process your most powerful pain
        
        Rate your pain
        
        Discern which pain you think contains more energy for your expansion & then pursue that
        
        Connecting the Two Strategies
        
        The most important goal is NOT to have no pain/fear when doing the thing that make us so; but the central goal is to CREATE A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH THE NERGY OF YOUR EOMTIONS ACROSS ALL SITUATIONS
        
        All emotions are just electrical impulses in your brain. When you learn to see them as only energetic sensations and not some signals of threat/dead, your whole emotional landscape suddenly opens up
        
        As you learn to tolerate feelings you previously avoided, you will likely find that the sensations you wasted so much energy avoiding lose their heat. And when you understand how to work with the underlying mechanics of negative emotions, your emotional power grows.
  - - - Design it
        
        Understand what you are building by understand your current patterns (what you are currently holding on to, but also whose edge is the limit of what you can hold on to next)
        
        Then choose a pattern (a word, a sentence/expression) that is so beautiful, bold, big ... that it hold all of the energy that you have, both beauty and pain
        
        Ex: If you have a business that is so new, instead of feeling "everyone doesn't understand me" , you can choose a different, bigger patter (I understand why it called pattern now, because that is something you keep telling yourself!): "I am a pioneer, I am ahead of my time" to transform the energy of emotions (that make you feel)
        
        This is personal take away: Note that this does not change the objective fact of what happen to you, or your reality, it just change how you interpret it, how you feel about it. Not perfect, but maybe better to cope with something you can't change
      - Test it
      - Repeat it
  - - - There is one certain thing about Uncertainty: You can never be certain about anything!
        --> So you do things, rise again, not because you know it for sure, but because you hope (and do your best) anyway
      - It's more painful to be uncertain if they "may be" shocked than it is to be certain they "will" be shocked
        --> Your emotional feelings surrounding your situation of uncertainty can be more painful than physical pain.
      - Uncertainty cannot be powerfully understood at the level of the situation. It has a predictable rhythm to its energy, regardless of situation. --> It affects your nervous system in similar ways across a range of diverse situations. (No matter the situation, your brain & body go through the same changes in physiology)
        --> You become much more emotionally powerful when you take your focus off solving every unresolved scenario and instead focus more on the person you routinely become in the shadow of uncertainty’s energy.
      - the energy of uncertainty does not live in the situation but is itself the energy that creates the situation. Your situation doesn’t make you wonder “What if?” Rather, it’s the act of anxiously wondering “What if?” that shapes your situation
      - It is important to realize that not the situation itself is the problem, but how we interact with the situation impact
    - - Be the hero of your own story
        
        Be an information seeker, not a reassurance seeker
        
        So much of your anxiety, stress & worry are caused by a dysfunctional relationship with certainty. If you regularly feel anxious, there's probably 1 thing you are doing to relive your anxiety that's making it worst: seeking reassurance
        
        Reassurance-seeking behavior, as its name suggests, occurs when you look to other people for guarantees about certainty that they cannot actually provide. Reassurance seeking is the act of looking for certain answers to unanswerable questions.
        
        While reassurance seeking may make you feel better in the moment, it weakens your emotional power over time.
        
        Reassurance seeking is different from information seeking
        
        Info seeking intends to answer a question, while reassurance seeking is aimed at creating certainty
        --> Reassurance seeking happens at the level of emotion
        Information seeking happens at the level of fact
        
        Table of differences
        
        Say "I don't know"
        
        There's a fine but powerful balance between a flase certainty and an honest clarity
        
        When you as the leader send a clear signal to your team, your children, or your partner that they can live honestly with you, you create relationships rooted in emotional freedom—and emotionally free people are the most powerful people in the world.
  - - - Remember
      - Relate
      - Recognize
      - Rewire