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Attachment Through the Life Course - Coggle Diagram
Attachment Through the Life Course
Strange situation (Ainsworth's 3 styles)
Secure (~60%)
distressed when caregiver leaves, quickly comforted when they return -> learned caregiver will help when needed
Avoidant (~20%)
not distressed at separation, avoids caregiver on return -> learned they cannot depend on caregiver
Anxious-resistant (~20%)
very distressed at separation, NOT calmed when caregiver returns -> learned caregiver won't reliably help
Contact comfort (Harlow's Experiment)
Why do infants bond with mothers?
Comfort and security not just food
Emotional warmth matters more than providing
I was surprised by this I always assumed infants bond with whoever feeds them because that's what they need to survive. But turns out they prefer comfort over survival. Now that I think about it this can be seen in relationships where their basic needs are met but feel empty or nothing for the other person because they don't produce that warmth and comfort that they're looking for.
Childhood outcomes
Secure children
better peer relationships
better evaluated by teachers
persist on challenging tasks
Avoidant children
difficulty making and maintaining friendships more likely to be identified as bullies
Attachment in adulthood
Romantic relationships ARE attachments
same 3 styles apply
Secure
comfortable depending on others, no fear of abandonment
Avoidant
uncomfortable with closeness, difficulty trusting, nervous when others want more intimacy
Anxious/resistant
others reluctant to get as close as desired, worries partner doesn't love them, wanting closeness can scare people away
Attraction
we tend to be attracted to partners of similar attachment style
Probabilistic
Early attachment is only probabilistically related to adult attachment
Those who didn't form secure bonds as children CAN develop secure attachment as adults
The most important thing I took from this chapter is that early attachment doesn't determine who you become forever. The fact that even people without secure early bonds can develop secure adult attachment means the right relationships later in life can genuinely change your patterns. There's people who had difficult childhoods but found a solid friend group, a great partner, or a good mentor and how that shifted them.
Shaped by ALL close relationships over time
parents, grandparents, friends, teachers