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Getting to yes chapters 1&2 - Coggle Diagram
Getting to yes chapters 1&2
Don't bargain over positions
positional bargaining (common method)
definition: Which side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach compromise
classic example
haggling between a customer and secondhand store propietor
purposes
Tells the other side what you what you want, provides anchor in uncertainty and can eventually produce acceptable terms
Criteria for judging a Method Negotiation
must produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible
a wise agreement meets legitimate interests, resolves conflicts fairly, durable and considers community interests
must be efficient
must improve or at least not damage the relationship between parties
Problems with positional bargaining
produces unwise agreements
negotiators tend to lock themselves into positions
ego becomes identified with the position
"saving face"
less attention is paid to underlying concerns
Agreement refelcts a "mechanical splitting of the difference" between final positions, not carefully crafted solution
Is inefficient
requires a lot of time
creates incentive that stall settlement (extreme positions, stubbornness
Tactics like dragging one's feet, threatening to walk out stonewalling are commonplace
Endangers on Ongaoing Relationship
becomes a contest of will
generates anger and resentment
strain and shatters relationships
being "nice" is not the ansewr (soft positional bargaining)
characteristics: avoids personal conflict, makes concessions, trusts, is friendly
outcome: ends up exploited and feeling bitter
risks of sloppy agreement
The alternative: Change the Game (principled negotiation or negotiation on the merits
It's the third way: neither hard nor soft, but rather both hard and soft
developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project
Insists that the result be based on fair standards independent of the will of either side
hard on the merits, soft on the people
4 basic points of the method
separate the people from the problem
focus on interests, not positions
invent options for mutual gain
insist on using objective criteria
application in three stages
analysis: diagnose the situation
planning: generate ideas and decide what to do (how to handle people problems)
discussions: communication between parties (aknowledge differences)
The method: separate the people from the problem
negotiators are people first
they are human beings with emotions, deeply held values, different, perspectives
helpful aspect
can produce psychological commitment and good working relationship
disastrous aspect
anger, frustration, hostility, threatened egos, misinterpretation, vicous circles
lack of sensitivity to the human aspect can be messy
two kinds of interests in every negotiator
in the substance
the material outcome
in the relationship
mantaining a good working relationship
the entanglement of relationship and substance
the relationship tends to get mixed with discussion of substance
egos become involved
comments of the problem can be perceived as personal attacks
solution: separate the relationship from the substances: deal directly with the people
these are not conflicting goals if treated separately
base the relaionship on accurate perceptions, clear communication, appropiate emotions
this applies to tour problems as well as theirs
adress peoples problems directly with psychological techniques, not concessions
three categories of people problems and how to adress them
perception
problem: conflict lies in peoples minds, not objective reality
key action: put yoursel in their shoes
see the situation from theri point of view
understanding is not agreeing
avoid
deducing their intentions from your fears
blaming them from your problems
strategies
discuss each other's perceptions
looks for opportunities to act inconsistently with their perceptions
emotion
problem: feelings can be more important than words and lead to impass
key action: recognize and understand emotions (theirs and yours)
remember negotiators also hace feelings
ask what produces this emotions
strategies
make emotions explicit and aknowledge them as legitimate
allow them to let off steam
use symbolic gestures
communication
key problem: without communication, there is no negotiation. Misunderstanding is common
three big problems
not talking to each other
not listening
misinterpretation
strategies
active listening
speak to be understood
establish privte and confidential means of communication
speak about yourself, not about them
speak with purpose
prevention works best
build a working relationship: get to know the other party personally before negotiating
face the problem, not the people: seeing each other as partners in a joint search for a fair and advantegous agreement