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Protectors - Coggle Diagram
Protectors
Common fears
Exiles will overwhelm the system by feelings
have spent their entire life keeping away overwhelming feelings
fears are realistic, have happened before
adressing
validating the fears
exploring the fears
No benefit from re-visiting the past
spent their life running away from the past
validating (cant change the past, but can heal it)
Going into the feelings triggers firefighters
e.g. addiction, overcompulsive behaviors
that the therapist wont be able to handle the neediness and vulnerability
early experience and expectation of rejection of "neediness" and vulnerability
adressing
therapist can handle extreme emotions
Protectors losing their job
fear of being eliminated, getting "rid of"
adressing
validating and reassuring that no one gets eliminated but return to natural role.
secrets will be exposed to the world
adressing
re-assuring no pressure to reveal secrets to anyone not even therapist
no need to confront people in the real world
the external world cant or wont support me
i need my protectors to support me in the real world
adressing
might need actual experience of support in the real world = stability
negotiating fears of managers
important
learn to slow down
create safety with protectors on the front side, so you can work with exiles on the backside without interruption
relationship to protector
"how do you feel toward it"
exploring the role
"what is it doing for you?" "do you understand it?"
what is the fear?
and then what?
validate the fear
therapists agenda? pushing?
what happens in the body?
extend compassion for the job its doing
negotiating
would the part let you work with the deep down feelings? What does it need in order to let you do that?
you can re-assure that you can titrate those deep feelings
giving parts alternatives
titrating the feelings
re-assuring safety