The narrator's lack of identity is apparent in the simple fact that the reader never learns her name. She spends majority of her childhood with her best friend, Tracy, who tells her how to be, what to think, and even what games they should play. When her and Tracy are separated later in school, the narrator realized she didn't have much of an identity outside of Tracy. She describes her existence without her guide as, "a body without a distinct outline". (213)
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Even as Aimee's personal assistant, the narrator struggles to find herself. Her whole life is consumed by Aimee's life, so really she doesn't have one for herself. Her mom tries to point this out to her but the narrator is so absorbed with the lifestyle that working for Aimee provides her that she can't seem to grasp the idea of not having someone telling her what to do or who to be.
At the end of the novel, the narrator begins to discover who she is when she realizes she's having mixed emotions surrounding Aimee's ambitions in Africa. I think the first thing that led to the narrator's path to self-discovery was choosing to betray Aimee by becoming sexually involved with Lamin. Once Aimee adopts the baby, the narrator makes the final decision to take a stance against something she believes is wrong. Her being fired from Aimee's life and finding herself with no "guide", she realizes how lost she is without someone telling her what to do. Her forgiveness towards her mother on her death bed motivates her to return back to Tracy, as a positive figure in her and the childrens lives. This is the first time we see the narrator make an active choice to be somebody.