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Dr. K Guide - Coggle Diagram

- - - - Idealistic Procrastination
      - Avoidance Procrastination
      - Operational Procrastination
        
        Track from last thing that should be done
      - *Practice
        
        Let It Be: Let yourself being inefficient, So what?
  - - - 4 Dimensional Intent Model
        
        Desires
        
        "Things that we want"
        
        Comes from Indriyas (sense organs)
        
        Satisfaction is temporary
        
        Worldly/Material (External) & Gains
        
        Shoulds
        
        "Conditioning"
        
        Internalizing Expectation
        
        Comes from outside expectation
        
        Worldly/Material (External) & Costs
        
        Values
        
        "Care About"
        
        Matter within
        
        Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
        
        Internal & Gains
        
        Duty
        
        "Dharma"
        
        Obligated (that you accept to yourself, not like "Shoulds" where it obligated by society)
        
        Willingly to sacrifice (personal cost)
        
        Internal & Costs
      - Shift External stuff to Internal with Introspection
    - - Fixed Mindset
        
        Driven by Talent
      - Growth Mindset
        
        Driven by Effort
      - *Practice
        
        Cognitive Restructuring
        
        Growth Mindset Phrases
        
        "No one does it perfect the first time"
        
        "Every failure bring us one step closer to success"
        
        "Even though i didn't do a good job this time, at least i learn something from it"
        
        "Will the next time be the same if i do it?"
        
        Validate Your Thought
        
        "Help me understand why you would X" "Wow i can understand why you have that thoughts"
        
        Magically it can decompressed emotion
        
        Catching Fixed Mindset in Action
        
        Stop bullying your mind
    - - Compensatory Goal
        
        It sets us up to quit, because we want to balanced up our failure
        
        Setting 2 goals at the same time because of past failure
      - Fantasy-Based Goal
        
        Any kind of forward progress doesn’t feel like an improvement
        
        Based on dreams and desires (influenced by society)
      - Moving Goalposts
        
        Instead of giving yourself pat in the back, you make bigger goals
    - - The Intention behind the Goal
      - Measurable and Actionable (Verbs)
      - Solely depends on You, not Others
      - Setup 25% of the Final Goal
    - - We care so much about it, so that it’s hard to get started
      - It’s us being perfectionistic
      - Can be solved with Detachment
  - - - Dopamine Detox
        
        Do’s
        
        Nature
        
        Improve Skills
        
        Read Books
        
        Structured Social Activities
        
        Responsibilities
        
        Urge Surfing
        
        Limit Phone Use
        
        Community Support
        
        Don’ts
        
        Substances
        
        Technology Usage
        
        Porn, Masturbation, Unhealthy Sex
        
        Unhealthy Food
        
        Shopping, Gambling
        
        Thrill Seeking
        
        Expectations
        
        Boredom
        
        Negative Emotions
        
        Coping Mechanisms
    - - Motivation = (Benefit - Cost) x Likelihood of Success
    - - Amygdala, part of our brain which control negative emotion
      - Amygdala (Emotional Part) is really close to Hippocampus (Learning Part)
  - - - 1) Prioritize
        
        Today
        
        Soon
        
        At some point
      - 2) Temporal
        
        When i should do it?
      - 3) Operationalize Problem
        
        Break big tasks into little tasks
        
        Imagine if you're froze, and you can only told your
        Personal Assistant what to do
        
        Start from the end and work backwards
      - 4) Knuckleheaded Stuff
  - - - Cortex gives order and others get in-line
    - - Reflex -> Distractions
      - Interrupt brain (Top-Down) through Visual or Feeling
  - - - Ball of undigested emotion, that's form and accumulate in our mind
    - - "This may work for other people, but i'm different"
        (Samskara of Uniqueness)
        
        1) Understand Ahamkara (Ego)
        
        2) What does this Samskara trying to protecting me from?
        
        3) What does this Samskara letting me to make excuse for?
      - *"I'd rather stay in limbo than take a chance"
        (Samskara of Limbo)
        
        1) Detachment from Positive Emotion
        (Recognize in Action)
        
        2) Work out on Fear of Rejection
        
        3) Let go because its up to other people
      - *"I'm not ready / I'll do it when I'm ready"
        (Samskara of Readiness)
        
        1) Acknowledge that you will never be ready
        (that is just a feeling)
      - "It's a waste of time, so don't bother"
        (Samskara of Time)
        
        1) Recognize the Samskara in Action
        
        2) Mourn the Past
        (No action that you can do to make up for the past)
        
        3) Start living in the present
      - "It Doesn't Matter What I Do"
        (Samskara of Hopelessness)
        
        1) Find out the seed of the failure/hopelessness
        
        2) Recognize it and acknowledge it
        (Decrease its emotional energy)
  - - - Origin of Motivation: is the act of keeping one thing for a long time, what your mind is focused on (one pointed mind)
    - - Awareness of Thought
      - Evoking Thoughts
      - Trataka
  - - - Imagine attention like a string attached to an object came up from your mind
      - Five senses = Five horses, if you want it to be powerful, attach it to chariot
- - - - Adrenaline
      - Kortisol
  - - - Much of our suffering is rooted in our mind's tendency to split things into two. I am a failure, or I am a success. Spiritual growth happens in the in-between states. Peace comes from understanding that "I am" - not "I am good" or "I am bad."
      - Catching in-between states
      - In-between Inhalation and Exhalation
      - Cold Shower
  - - - Short-term solution, but leads to sacrifice of freedom
  - - - Get sound/visual and move your mind as fast as you can
        (Rotate your mind)
      - Good for people with overactive mind
        (to make the mind tired, and it will calm itself)
      - Example
        
        Go to cafeteria, and notice different sound
        
        Go to a tree, and see each leaf
    - - (x) I am sad
        (v) My mind feels sadness
      - Moving your faculty of sense away from you
- - - - affects
        
        Energy toward the task
    - - 1) Take Task and Observe your feeling toward the task
        
        No Energy
        
        Don't feel like it
      - 2) Dig into Identity level (dig into it)
        
        What makes me feeling this toward the task?
      - 3) Look within yourself, notice what actually exists
  - - - Don't instantly REJECT something that's completely the opposite of what you believe to be right
        
        "This doesn't work for me!"
  - - - Being where you are
    - - Thinking about where you should be
- - - - The way to remove suffering is by remove attachment to our expectations
      - Raga & Dvesha
      - Is a cosmic suffering
    - - 1) Take one-page sheet of paper, ask yourself “what’s wrong with the world”
      - 2) Think of the final boss, focus on the next thing that you can do
        (focus on little dharma)
    - - Brahmacharya Ashrams
        
        Learning and Studying, so that you can be independent
      - Grahastha Ashrams
        
        Apply your skill for your own benefits
      - Vanaphrastha Ashrams
        
        Use skill for benefits other people
      - Sannyasa Ashrams
        
        Give up on materialistic
  - - - Comparing oneself to other people, on the past failure.
        The feeling of falling behind compare to other peopel
      - Catching up feels paralysing
        (Your mind is telling you it's not enough)
      - Solution: In order to move forward, let go of catching up
        (and the idea that you're falling behind)
      - Solution: Stop layer a construct on top of reality
    - - In depression, we tend to blame ourselves
        (by environment or for protecting others)
      - If you blame yourself even if it's not your fault,
        It's going to be an uphill battle that never ends
        (because you can't fix what you aren't responsible to)
      - Solution: blame should be directed correctly (and to forgive, whether it's other people or yourself)
      - The reason your mind assigning blame to the wrong place, to protect you from negative emotion
    - - Hypothetical Failure vs Real Failure
      - "Everytime you take step forward it keeps you stuck, because it's not enough"
    - - Problem: "My worth is based on my performance"
      - Solution: ask "is your value depends on something else other than your intrinsic value?"
    - - Problem: should've, would've, could've
      - Feeling ashamed -> Fantasize -> Sense of Triump
        (Replace negative emotion with positive emotion)
      - Your mind is too focus on rewriting history which is never gonna change history
      - Solution: Tolerate negative emotion, sit with it. Ask "what am i going to do now?"
        Ask "what step that i can take now?"
        (Redirecting energy not rewriting history, but moving forward)
      - The only time you can live is the Present
  - - - Act like older brother to your own self
      - Journal if needed
      - Be patient (i mean, you don't hit your younger brother when he did something bad)
  - - - Depression: Neurochemistry Imbalance
      - Treatment: Medication, Diet, Sunlight, Brain-Gut
    - - Depression: Decreased Chi/Prana
      - Treatment: Yoga, Pranayama, Taichi
    - - Depression: mood -> Sadness, Guilt, Shame
      - Treatment: Psychotherapy, Nature, Journaling, Coaching
    - - Depression: Identity
      - Treatment: CBT, Read, Contemplate, Meditate (Meditations by Marcus Aurelius)
    - - Depression: Lack of Purpose/Meaning
      - Treatment: Meditation, Understanding Dharma Dukkha and Karma
- - - - Like / Dislike
      - It happens automatically (reflex)
      - Manas doesn't changed from Kid to Adult
    - - Analysis, Critical Thought
      - Scan and come up with appropriate Samskara
      - It can be use to digest Emotion (Manas), resulting in lower Samskara in Adults
    - - The feeling of I
      - I identify as "..."
      - Pumping us up, Putting down others
        (The Protection of the Mind)
      - Bullies Buddhi, to came up with selectively make logical sense
        (Rationalization)
      - *Working with Ahamkara
        
        Ask yourself "Who am I" meditation, Neti Neti "Not this"
        
        Be critical what is it inside me, and what determines who i am
    - - Balls of undigested emotion, dormant in the mind (in Citta)
      - Can roaring back to the present
        (can delete it by processing it)
      - It forms our personality (collection of samskara)
      - Attributes
        
        2) Retain the age of the formation
        
        1) Memory Folder (positive & negative)
        
        3) Fair degree of internal consistency
        (can lead to self-sabotage)
      - Developing Positive Samskara
        
        Coming from Strong Positive Experience
        
        Yoga Nidra and takes Sankalpa
      - Thought Generating Machine
    - - The screen of the mind
      - It projects the other part of the mind to be
        active or passive