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Writing Task 2 Adv & Disadv - Coggle Diagram
Writing Task 2
Adv & Disadv
Social Media
Many people around the world use social media everyday to
get in touch with other people
and gets
new events
. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Opening
It is true that instead of
being in the presence of another to engage in human interaction,
it has become increasingly popular
for people to use social media to connect and receive news.
While there are certain benefits of this tendency, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant.
BODY 1
On the one hand, the wide spread of social media has some advantages. First,
Body 2
Despite some benefits mentioned above
,
The use of social media is
replacing face to face interaction
among many people in society. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?
BODY 2
Second, a huge amount of time spent online for communication may exert a detrimental effect on people's health.
=> RESULT
In fact, the prolonged exposure to a screen has been linked to many health problems, such as obesity or worsening eyesight, which both have been on the increase in recent years. =>
First, promoting
the use of social media sites instead of engaging in real conversations might isolate people and discourage real relationships.
=> RESULT
For example, despite a huge number of friends made via Instagram, my brother still suffers from loneliness and isolation and struggle to interact with his peers at school.
=> EXPLAINATION
Despite certain benefits mentioned above, I would argue that the use of social media has more drawbacks.
BODY 1
Furthermore, rather than going
to a physical office to work, a number of people can now do business online since they can easily establish groups and pages on Facebook (ko dung "set up") to promote their products. =>
REASON
This not only
helps them to save substantial costs associated with renting an office or hiring staff
but also
allows these business owners to approach more customers. =>
RESULTS
First
,
by
using social media platforms such as Facebook or Instagram,
people can
maintain contact with significant friends or family members regardless of geographical locations.
=> RESULTS
Features like Messenger or Video Call on these sites allow individuals to send pictures or talk with their overseas relatives,
=> EXPLAIN
which can help
strengthen the bond between them.
=> RESULT
On the one hand
,
the widespread of social media has some advantages
.
Avoid "face-to-face usage or in person" unless it's in question
=> Technically, this is an idiom
"
Some benefits
" => "
Certain
" is way better than some in this type of sentence construct
- Avoid using "the first one is that, loved ones, a great deal of - more like magazine/articles" => Don't waste words, and it's informal
Opening
Câu 2: Mình sẽ đưa ra ý kiến của mình. Ở đây mình nghiêng về tác hại nhiều hơn nên mình sẽ viết là:
While S1 + V1, S2 + V2.
Kiểu như là trong khi có một vài cái lợi của T, tôi tin rằng cái hại thì nhiều hơn 😃 )
Câu này nên cụ thể hơn lợi ích và tác hại là gì thay vì chỉ nói chung chung.
Câu 1: Giới thiệu về topic. Khi đề bài nói về sự lựa chọn giữa X và Y, thì một cách đơn giản là ta dùng cấu trúc:
Instead of doing X, people do Y (chủ ngữ thật)
Hoặc
Instead of doing X, it has become increasingly popular for people to do Y (chủ ngữ giả với It is)
It is true that instead of being in the presence of another to engage in human interaction, it has become increasingly popular for people to use social media. While there are certain benefits of this tendency, I believe that the drawbacks are more significant.
=> Band 8, if wanting band 9 => You need to discuss in the thesis statement what benefits and drawbacks in the paper
Conclusion
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the disadvantages of using social media as the primary means of communication outweigh the positive effects that it has.