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Care and Counseling Skills for Marital Care - Coggle Diagram
Care and Counseling Skills for Marital Care
Let Your Partner Influence You Gottman ch. 7
When a man is not willing to share power with his partner there is an 81 percent change that his marriage will self-sestruct. p. 116
The happiest, most stable marriages in the long run were those in which teh husband did not resist sharing power and decision making with the wife. When the couple disagreed, these husbands actively searched for common ground rather than insisting on getting their way. p. 116-117
Emotionally intelligent husbands have figured out the one big thing: how to convey honor and respect. p. 118
All spiritual views of life are consistent with loving and esteeming your spouse. That's what accepting influence is all about. pp. 118-119
What husbands can learn from their wives. Ch. 7 pp. 121- 123
When a husband accepts his wife's influence, he also strengthens their friendship. p. 121
Women tend to be more oriented toward discussing and understanding feelings than are men. p. 121
Emotionally Intelligent Husbands Ch. 7 pp. 123- 125
About 35 percent of men studied are emotionally intelligent. p. 123
Because this type of husband honors and respects his wife, he will be open to learning more about emotions from her. p. 123
This new husband is likely to make his career less of a priority than his family life because he has revised his definition of success. p. 124
Learning to Yield. Ch. 7 pp.125-128
Often in life you need to yield in order to win. p. 125
Accepting influence is an attitude, but it's also a skill that you can hone if you pay attention to how you relate to your spouse. p. 126
Two Kinds of Marital Conflict Ch. 8 Perpetual Problems pp. 138- 141
Despite their differences, these couples remain very satisfied with their marriages because they have hit upon a way to deal with their unmovable problems so that they don't become overwhelming. They've learned to keep them in their place and approach them with a sense of humor. pp. 138-
Despite what many therapists will tell you, you don't have to resolve your major marital conflicts for your marriage to thrive. p. 139
When choosing a long-term partner...you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you'll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or fifty years. p. 139
In unstable marriages, perpetual problems eventually kill the relationship. Instead of coping with the problem effectively, the couple get gridlocked over it. p. 140
Solvable Problems Ch. 8 pp. 142- 143
One way to identify solvable problems is that they seem less painful, gut-wrenching, or intense than perpetual, gridlocked ones. p. 142
When you argue over a solbavle problem, your focus is only on a particular dilemma or situation. There is no underlying conflict that's fueling your dispute. p. 142
The Keys to Managing Conflict Ch. 8 pp. 156-159
Negative emotions are important. p. 157
No one is right. p. 157
Acceptance is crucial. p. 157-158
Focus on fondness and admiration p. 158-159