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Gottman's Main Points Ch (1-7) - Coggle Diagram
Gottman's Main Points Ch (1-7)
Predictors of Divorce (CH 2)
Horseman apocalypse (pg. 27)
Criticism
EX: "why are you like this?"
Contempt
EX: being belligerent
Defensiveness
EX: "The problem isn't me it's you," (pg. 32)
Stonewalling
EX: not truly paying attention; "Uh-huh"
Harsh Start up (pg. 26)
Blame
Critiscism
Sarcasm
Flooding
Being overwhelmed from negativity (pg. 34).
Body Language
Increased heart rate
Sweating
Body goes into overdrive
Failed Repair Attempts
Can one resolve the conflict
Bad Memories (pg. 42).
Enhance Your Love Maps (Ch 3)
Know Your Partner
Love Map Questionnaire
Love Map Game
Love Map of Everyday Lives
Know yourself
Who am I?
Personal Goals
Injuries and Healings
Emotional world
Mission and Legacy
Who you want to become
(Share all these with your partner)
Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration
Learn from the Past
Stay aware of fondness and admiration
This is an antidote to contempt
Fondness and Admiration Questionare
Ex: When we are apart I think fondly of them (pg. 66).
EX: My Partner respects me (pg. 66)
EX: I am really proud of my partner (pg. 66).
Fan the Flames
"I Appreciate..."
Examples: "Loving, Sensitive, Graceful," (pg. 68).
Identify Characteristic with incident
Look at the History of you Marriage
EX: discuss how you met.
EX: What do you remember most about you dating, (pg. 71).
EX: What have you stopped doing?
Turn Toward Each Other (Ch 5)
Romance Primed
EX: I look forward to spending time w/ my partner.
We enjoy doing small things
We just love talking to each other
Emotional Bank Account
Cook Dinner
Celebrate Each Other
Plan Vacations
Stress Reduction (pg. 87).
Supporting one another
"We against others." pg. 88
Validate Emotions
Check in
Are they turning toward you?
Are they overwhelmed?
How did they feel during the week?