A Family Divided: Collateral Damage, - Coggle Diagram
A Family Divided: Collateral Damage
Describe family dynamic and the before divorce
was in before and after school program, barely saw my parents engaging with each other
When I did see them interact it was all negative and it was screaming and shaking voices
From a young age, all I knew of my mother and father was loud music raging through the house to drown the sound of their yelling voices. The air filled with smoke and alcohol raging from their breath. Peeking around the corner to hear what was occurring down in the kitchen. My childhood was clouded by hatred and I can only remember glimpses of things that made me happy. (then I would expand)
Initial thoughts and reaction
I was confused, broken, and angry
My mother was angry and seemed angry all of the time. I thought she was angry at me.
My dad was sad
As I grew up, I learned...
Love isn't what my parents had.
It was not my job to be their messenger
Families do not need to be united to experience the love and care that they offer
Regardless of my parents' feelings towards one another, it had nothing to do with their love for me.
My idea of what a home and family was
House vs. Home
new court-appointed child custody
Overhearing money exchange involving me as if there was a price on me
Backlash comments towards my dad while I was in the presence of my mom's side of the fmaily
How did it impact me?
I became a people pleaser
My parent's expected great things from me and I would do my best to give them all that they wanted for me.
sometimes having opposite things in mind I began to lie
Made me defensive and quick to react (lashing out)
Lack of trust because of the negativity I heard from both parents about the other
I didn't know who I could talk to so I felt alone
Focused on succeeding in academics and sports to prove myself to my parents
How I changed and benefited
Became independent and strong willed.
Know that I want to only be in a relationship where we care for one another and if a time comes when separation is in the playing cards that it most likely will be the decision
That I was never alone and never will be
I am GRATEFUL for the experience