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Human relationships - Coggle Diagram
Human relationships
Cognitive approach
Similarity - researchers argue that the extent to which people perceive another person as similar to themselves may be an explanation for attraction
Couples tend to be similar in age, religion, social class, cultural background, personality, education, intelligence, physical attractivness, attitudes
Rubin (1973) suggests that similarity is rewarding because agreement may provide a basis for engaging in joint activities and a person who agrees with us helps to increase our confidence in our own opinions, which enhances our self-esteem.
It may be assumed that people with similar attitudes to us will like us so we like them in return (reciprocity rule)
Markey et al. (2007) investigated the extent to which similarity is a factor in the way people choose parteners. Using questionnaires, the researchers asked a large sample of young people to describe the psychological characteristics, values and attitudes of their ideal romantic partner. Afterwards they were asked to describe themselves. The results showed that the way young people described themselves was similar to what their ideal partner was like.
Another factor that can influence the beginnings of the relationships is self-esteem, which refers to a person overall sense of their value or worth. It can be considered a measure of how much a person values, approves of, appreaciates, prizes, or likes themselves.
Self-esteem is not fixed. It can change depending on our situation and development and it can be tested as well
Self-esteem can influence whether they will talk to someone, ask someone on a date or even agree to go on a date. The role of self-esteem in a relationship formation was examined by Kiesler and Baral (1970). Researchers administered a fake IQ test to a group of men. Then the men were given fictious scores. One group was told that they had the highest scores they have ever seen, while the second group heard that the scores were so low that the researchers could not account for errors. After that, the individual men waited in a waiting room for their payment for taking part in the study. During that time, a very attractive female walked into the room. It was found that the men who had a self-esteem boost engaged in a conversation more quickly and they were engaged in it.
Biological approach
Evolutionary theories argue that the purpose of attraction is to procreate, that is to ensure that an individual's genes are passed on to the next generation. Thus both sexes tend to be attracted to characteristics that signal health, youth, and reproductive capacity. That's why smooth skin, good muscle tone, lustrous hair, full lips are considered attractive for both sexes.
Women need to look also for characteristics of men that would help them take care of the babies. Trivers (1972) proposed that parental investment was important. Therefore, beacuse women have to invest more time, they are fussier about choosing a mate
Evolutionary arguments for mate selection should be universally applicable to all Homo sapiens and transcend culture in order for the theory to be believable
Research by Buss (1989) supports the evolutionary theories. Researchers wanted to find out if characteristics that men and women seek for in their partners are the same regardless of their culture. This would support the evolutionary theory about mate selection. Buss used over 10,000 partcipants from 37 cultures. Participants were asked to complete 2 questionnaires. The findings were:
In 36/37 cultures financial prospects were more important for women than for men
In 34/37 cultures women placed more emphasis on ambition and being hardworking than men
In all 37 cultures men wanted a younger mate and women wanted an older mate
In all 37 cultures men rated good looks as more important
In 23/37 cultures men rated chastity as more important than women did
In conclusion, beacuse the findings were the same in most of the cultures, they show common biological determinants and support the evolutionary theory of mate selection.
Fisher claims that romantic love is a mix of chemicals in the brain. Fisher divides love into three stages involving different brain systems:
Lust - driven by androgens and estrogens; sexual gratification
Attraction - driven by high dopamine and norepinephrine levels and low serotonin; romantic or passionate love
Attachment - driven by hormones oxytocin and vasopressin; stability with long-term partner
Fisher have proposed that romantic love is a natural addiction that evolved from mammalian antecedents by 4 million years ago as a survival mechanism to encourage hominin pair-bonding and reproduction
Research by Fisher (2003) supports the hypothesis that "romantic love is an addiction". The researcher wanted to investigate the neural mechanisms associated with the attraction system (romantic love). The participants filled out a questionarre. The Passionate Love Scale is a self-reported questionarre that measures the intensity of romantic feelings. Then they were placed in the fMRI scanner. They first looked at a picture of their beloved one, then they performed a distarction task, and finally they looked at a picture of a neutral acquaintance. The researcher found that the "brain's reward system" was active when the lovers looked at the pictures of their beloved one. The results show that the same brain mechanism is active both in substance abuse and when an individual think of their romantic partner.
Sociocultural approach
Goodwin (1995) argues that passionate love is largely a western phenomenon. In the West, marriage is seen as a culmination of a loving relationship. In cultures where arranged marriages occur, the relationship between love and marriage is the other way round.
Regan, Lakhanpal and Anguiano (2012) conducted a study to compare relative happiness in arranged and love-based marriages. They sampled 58 Indian couples living in the USA and asked them to fill in some questionnaires interested in martial satisfaction, commitment, passionate love, and compassionate love. Men reported greater amounts of commitment, passionate love and compassionate love than women. No differences were found between arranged and love-based marriages.
The study shows that whether the marriage was arranged or started out of love does not influence the satisfaction and happiness levels of the couples
While mate selection is universal, the process by which partners are selected and relationships are maintained is often determined by cultural and social factors.
Individualistic cultures value self-sufficiency and the development of personal identity and the foundation for relationships is built on the idealization of romantic love self-seeking intrinsic desire. Passion is frequently touted as the essence of love the basis upon which love is cultivated.
In contrast, many Eastern, collectivist cultures emphasize the value of group harmony and cohesion. Individuals are socialized to consider the well-being of the group over that of their own personal needs. Dating and engaging in sexual activity prior to marriage are often considered inappropriate in Eastern, collectivistic cultures
Dion and Dion (1993) examined the influence of collectivism/individualism on romantic love and intimacy in marriage. They found out from multiple studies that romantic love is more likely to be the basis for marriage in the individualistic countries. Intimacy in marriage is more about satisfaction with marriage and personal wellness in those countries. However, in traditional collectivistic societies marriage is often seen as more than just the union of two individuals - it is a union of two families.
What are relationships
According to Berschield and Ammazzalorso (2004), two people whose behaviour is interdependent in that a change in behaviour in one is likely to produce a change in behaviour of the other
Relationships are one of the most significant sources of happiness and unhappiness in people's lives. Close relationships influence not only our emotional state, but also our health. In fact, Steinhauser (1995) reported that married people were happier and healthier than single people
Romantic relationships, according to Fiske (2004), involve not only the interdependence, but also strong feelings, commited intent and overlapping self-concept. Unique to romantic relationships are passion and exclusive commitment
Robert Sternberg suggested a Triangular Theory of Love in 1988. According to Sternberg, there are three components of love:
passion: euphoria, sexual arousal
intimacy: warmth, closeness, sharing
commitment: intent to maintain the relationship in spite of the difficulties and costs
The type and strength of a couple's love is determined by both the individual strengths of the three components and the interaction between them.
Steinberg suggested a number of different love types depending on the strengths of components:
Romantic love: combination of high intimacy and passion
Compassionate love: combination of intimacy and commitment
Fatuous love: passion and commitment
Infatuation: passion alone
Liking: intimacy alone
Empty love: commitment alone
Consummate love: involves all three components equaly