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She is upset! what is your objective? - Coggle Diagram
She is upset! what is your objective?
Help soothe her
Did you ask what is wrong?
yes
no
My own peace and quiet
Did you ask for space?
no
why not?
I thought my silence would be a good hint.
Silence is ambiguous and will be interpreted in a multitude of ways. This can include:
That you are listening and actively listening.
That you secretly agree with the people or item she is having an issue with.
That you are collecting your thoughts to form an articulate and complicated response.
Are any of these your objective?
no
Sounds like you are less interested in your own peace and quiet and more into confrontation and extending the anxiety and stress of your partner. If you are an observer this may not be of any consequence to you in the short term. If you are an absorber this route will delay the peace and quiet you had hoped for and may extend conflict into the next day and discourage your partner from seeking comfort from you in the long run. Is this your objective?
yes
Be sure to respond quickly and assert the boundaries you need. Determine if this conversation can be returned to at another specified time. Be specific and concise and let your partner know that their feelings matter, and even if the timing is off, that you want to be helpful and supportive. verbose responses are garunteed if you provide answers with minimal support and validation.
Being right
Is there an issue or idea you want to correct with her in this problem?
yes
Is she in a position to be receptive to your perspective?
yes
Did she ask for you to fix it?
no
I don't know
Offer help, guidance and support on this! Ask what her objective is in this conversation. Her perspective while in a calm and collected place can be taken more literally than at other times. Ask clarifying questions
no