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Essay 2 Brainstorm 2 - Coggle Diagram

- - - - saul: losing trust in showing confidential information to outside people
        
        the kindest person he met at harsh moments of his life (at the residential school), turned out to be using him somehow
        
        if even a person who stands up for him, when the rest of the adults want to beat him, betrays his emotional safety, who else can he trust to handle his experiences with care, if he does manage to share them?
        
        the "father" took advantage of saul's vulnerability
        
        leading saul to believe that being vulnerable means being weak; or being left defenseless
        
        keeps how he feels on the inside, or to avoid feeling weak, he does some things (to keep the feeling of being weak hidden/a secret, in a way):
        
        avoiding contact with other people (socializing)
        
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        focusing on his work, and working like a machine
        
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        reading
        
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        drinking
        
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        inner evaluaton: is there anyone to tell it to (if there's no on he can trust)
        
        practically, feeling there is no need to tell it to anyone if there's no-one to tell it to
      - not understanding the story in him, himself
        
        not understanding/not yet "wrapping his head around" his past enough to share it with anyone
        
        had a hard time understanding because he wasn't doing that; he was drinking, giving himself "life noise "
        
        drinking and distracting makes it hard to focus on anything meaningful
        
        resorted to drinking to get through his days
        
        calculates how much he drinks; estimations as to how much to drink before work to get through his work day, how often to drink, etc.
        
        giving himself something to do, besides something that is difficult to deal with (the journey of talking about his experienes)
        
        difficult to describe something you don't understand
        
        just like how it's hard to grab an object when your vision is blurry; you don't understand around how far the object is, what the shape of object is like, etc.
        
        meaning, no point of reference to work with
        
        inner evaluation: if I was to tell this to someone, how would I tell them? what would I tell them?
        
        couldn't figure it out; a part of him, at least, avoided figuring that out
        
        a common question that comes up when trying to explain something: where to start
        
        a lot had happened, it was hard to find somewhere to start from
        
        it's hard to understand something that you don't acknowledge
        
        the author continuously doesn't mention saul's experiences at the residential school, after joining the NHL (so after becoming an adult, that period)
        
        though, mostly focuses on the racism he faces at the NHL games
        
        saul's physical happenings are mostly dealing with unfair treatment from players, the people in the stands, etc. -- > he doesn't get much mental space to think about his experiences at the residential school
        
        through his actions and dialogue he says out loud, the readers can see that his mind is occupied with winning the games and facing the racism
      - inner criteria: reason to tell others in the first place (asking themselves: is there a sense in telling anyone?)
        
        wagamese: didn't feel a reason to tell others about saul's thought processes and emotions in detail in the first place
        
        5% of canada's population is indigenous
        
        if the main purpose of the book is to provide "comfort" for some, and give material to relate to, what are the chances that an indigenous person will pick up the IH book?
    - - author is more consious/intentional than saul
      - wanting to achieve an emotional, strong impact
        
        the moment he revealed the secret was at an intimate moment between saul and the kellys
        
        to signify the impact of the event for saul
        
        in a meeting type of setting (with another person who went through something similar)
    - - an attempt to achieve something, unconsciously; unconscious desire
        
        or maybe he is aware of it, but just doesn't want to admit(?)
      - a difficult approach to trying to achieve emotional ease/peace
        
        though, proven to be not a sustainable way to achieve it
        
        maybe also to try and lighten the load on his mind and emotional part
        
        trying to simulate lightening the emotional load by making himself not feel anything at all (drinking)
  - - - the author keeps a secret from the readers, intentionally, and revealing them at a certain point
        
        for example, in revealing daniel's death
        
        never revealed about daniel's personal life (focused on the main character's life)
        
        keeping a sense of mystery about daniel's personal life, and details that might have revealed why he was found dead where he was
        
        also to avoid trying to distract the readers from seeing from one perspective
        
        most of the noir stories in VN are showing one perspective of a story
        
        readers follow along by not knowing any more than than the person in perspective does
        
        in the perspective of the main character, the dialogue only goes in the direction that is relevant to the story
        
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        intention: keeps a secret not only to build suspense - to show that though things in vancouver seem ordinary, that doesn't mean that things like these don't happen at all
        
        that what we don't see, still happens
        
        still worth noting what we don't see in daily life
        
        every life is particular, even though it's not our own
        
        almost simulating that we only see what we see in our lives
        
        illustrates that by having each of the individual stories be in the perspective of one person (only letting insight into one person's life, and not more than one)
        
        intention: suspense
        
        keeping info secret to get the readers guessing
        
        also, in a way, simulating real life:
        
        real life: we don't know about things in real life until we do/find out about it
        
        for example, when the japanese father went missing
        
        didn't figure out details on the father until the very end
        
        keep moving forward into the story
        
        slowly the characters find things out and pieces things together
        
        (readers follow along)
      - in VN's case (in regards to the author keeping secrets), the criteria that is being applied is "relevancy/necessity"
      - another point of criteria: entertainment/suspense
- - - - have a more clear definition of "worth"
        
        what does it mean for a secret to be "worth" something to someone?
        
        be of importance
        
        to be worth knowing
        
        for it to matter
  - - - even if we were let into saul's thought processes and emotional journey in his mind, it wouldn't make a significant difference
        
        saul's thoughts can only be understood by saul himself; in terms of "relating" only that 5% of canada's population may be affected at least a little more in terms of significance for relating and connecting with his thoughts
        
        not saying that his personal thoughts and emotions don't matter in the long-term
        
        wouldn't make a significance difference, meaning: it wouldn't affect our "understanding" of his story in a way that we'd be able to do something productive with the "understanding"
        
        there's only so much we can do, as individuals, after hearing certain details, such as being revealed that saul was sexually used by the "father" (and let into the hockey team to keep his mouth shut)
        
        in short, there are only so much meaningful actions we can take after hearing more details
        
        even too many details and info can turn into something that means not much, if anything meaningful
        
        and the idea of handling and responding to trauma is much more complex than just being kinder to each other and listening to what they went through
        
        as difficult it is to say, sometimes, if not most of the time, listening and learning and educating oneself is not enough to undo or do something about generational trauma
        
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        we might be able to get a better, more refined picture of what saul went through, and what other residential school survivors may have went through, that's just it; having a more detailed idea of what they had to deal with (and not necessarily understanding unless someone went through something similar or the same thing)
    - - guess in a meticulous way, it would also depend on who doesn't know and why they don't know; if it's chosen/voluntary ignorance, then it wouldn't mean anything to them in the first place (whether they know or not)
  - - - so they can have a more realistic image/awareness of the city they live in (or plan to live in)
        
        then they can take better precautionary measures to stay safe
        
        by learning about the history of a place, residents can have a better understanding of a part of what exactly "vancouver" is
        
        also good to learn from history so as to not repeat mistakes
        
        it helps with realization with how the authors reveal secrets in a dramatic, "sudden" way
        
        so the reveal hits harder/is more emotional
- - - - leading to lack of understanding of the whole picture (big picture)
        
        leaving them to either wait for more information (or the whole thing to be revealed), or to try and piece things together with what they already know
        
        but in the majority of the cases, there's not enough information provided in the first place to come to a conclusion
  - - - emphasizing the feeling of "learning along the way"
      - never knowing more than the main characters, and never figuring things out faster than the main characters do