Relational Dialectics Theory - Coggle Diagram
Relational Dialectics Theory
The most common dialectics in a relationship are
Openness and closeness
In a relationship, both partners expect openness in their communication as to be dependable and also to maintain an healthy relationship. But on the contrary, the individual desires privacy.
Certainty and uncertainty
Certainty is one factor that bonds the relationship. It is the promise that one keeps and makes both the parties comfortable. But on the contrary, being so predictable makes the relationship dreary thus an element of surprise or ambiguity spur up the relationship.
Connectedness and separateness
A relationship to continue, people has to be bonded physically and mentally. But on the contrary too much of connectedness can blur the individuality of the person.
Relational dialectics theory believes that you should look at the ‘totality’ of the contradictions in a relationship (not just one) to see the challenges that exist and how to address them.
– Relationships (relational life) can have tensions between a need to be connected to one another for safety and security, and still the desire to free to make decisions without the need of the other’s approval or consideration of their needs.
– Romantic and close familial relationships can have a tension between the need for intimacy (often physically) and separation.
– Often an ‘external contradiction’, couples feel the need to exclude themselves to spend time alone together, but also at times include themselves in social interactions with people outside of the couple.
Relationships also are constantly in a ‘process of change’ so they never stay the same.
‘praxis’ is a word that explains how we act in a relationship: we can either accept and accommodate the other person’s needs, or act out negatively when tensions occur.
Relationships are always in ‘contradiction’ because they have inbuilt tensions.
Managing Relational Dialectics
- prioritising the problems alternatively.
- being one sided while confronting a problem while ignoring the other.
- dealing with the problem one-sidedly. Unlike denial, the problem is being faced in a different circumstance.
- avoiding the problem by terminating the relationship.
- keeping a balance between the situation while solving a problem.
- accepting the problem to maintain the relationship.
- both the parties are made satisfied by developing methods to solve problems.
studying interpersonal relationships. The behavioral changes in the partners can be comprehended by applying the contradictions that balances the relationship. To maintain a relationship it is important to understand the core concepts of relational dialects.
Sam and Susan started dating for almost a year and once perfect relationship are confronted with problems from both sides. As every couple they started a relationship being open to each other which was comfortable in the beginning and as time progressed they both started longing for privacy.Susan began to get bored of sitting inside the house rather than going out and longed for a romantic date with Sam like before. Their life became monotonous. Sam started to miss his friends when every time he reminded of Susan waiting in the house for himThe tension between these couples can be managed by understanding that the relationships are inconsistent by communicating effectively and accepting the contrary behaviors of the partners in a relationship..
Practical: The theory gives a practical framework for analyzing relationships
Transferrable across a wide range of personal relationships types
Logical and relatable: The theory follows an internal logic that most people should be able to relate to
Not quantifiable: It is difficult to quantify the tensions that arise in relationships through scientific methods.
Fails to address motivations behind human needs and desires
Descriptive rather than predictive: While it describes relationship tensions well, it cannot predict how the tensions can be relieved