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Sexual Abuse
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Previous tenant of Wolverhampton house left after she saw him masturbating in the downstairs study. She was outside and the curtains were open.The window is in front of bus a stop
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Helen managed to catch young nephew before he entered his bedroom - he was clearly masturbating loudly
Masturbabing loudly with volume high on the computer whilst staying at daughters flat which she shared with another friend - both 26yrs old.
Whilst cleaning the office for him, Helen & Ant saw him disposing of a bin bag full on pornographic magazines
Grabs Mum's breasts hard saying "You should put weight on here, not your belly."
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Tells her she has no breasts and wants to be with someone with a bigger chest. That's part of the most recent incident.
In the past all members of the family have picked up the landline phone to make calls, to hear him on the phone to sex lines.
RAPE - During a weekend away in Llandudno, Mum and Dad ready to go for dinner. Rob & Ant (3&1) asleep. Dad wouldn't take no for an answer. Mum was dressed and ready to go. The next day whilst walking along the pier, Mum's lung began to collapse and had an extreme panic attack. The following day, ended up in hospital for 7 days. Dad never visited. Was only visited by Granny and Liam.
Coersive Control
Used people he knew in the another local pub to access the pub's CCTV footage to check how many glasses of wine she had drunk.
He refused to take no for an answer. As an example, Mum clearly stated she didn't wish to attend golf event (July 2023) but he forced to attend. Mum got so cold, was left in the club house at the bar where there was an open tab. He was then "surprised" by the fact Mum got drunk.
Any hobby she has, he muscles his way in. As an example, he became the treasurer at the Operatic Society Mum attended.
Isn't allowed to have any friends from the past. He convinces her that they aren't good for her, or he doesn't like them or their partners so he won't socialise with them and he didn't allow her to do it on her own.
He needs to know where she is at all times. He would constantly track her through the Apple phone tracking app.
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Wouldn't permit her to have her own bank account. Mum made secret ones in the past, but when discovered she has been forced to close them.
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Constant harassment to get a job. When Mum got a job it was then an inconvenience and he said he should be able to provide for them financially.
Always her fault, the drinking, if they were in money trouble. Not the golf membership he had, or the football season ticket he had, or the jazz club membership he had, or the rugby membership he had.
Mum had to ask to spend money, even the weekly shop that he wouldn't do.
Constantly being set up to fail. He persuaded Mum, an alcoholic, to go to his favourite local pub the night before she was due to come and support Tor a few days after having her first baby.
Constant harassment. He would call Mum every day asking "Where are you?", "What have you spent money on?", "Why are you in the shop again?", "Why do you need so many bananas?" or "Why do you always need £30?".
This is Tor's first hand experience when Alex was born.
Physical Abuse
He has admitted to hitting her (Oct 2019, detail below).
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Attempted to hit Tor when she was 14 for staying up too late watching a film on parents bed. It was 10pm when he arrived home.
October 2019 - Hit in the face at the bottom of the stairs. Mum sought refuge at Ant & Helen's in Birmingham. Photos were taken. After a holiday and some time apart, he convinced her to go back and discovered the pictures, which he made her delete. See Whatsapp chat. We recieved a voicemail from Mum in the night.
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17th Aug - Medical assessment to confirm internal bruising across the ribs. Mum was asleep, he woke her by hitting her across the ribs with his whole arm, we believe it was because she was snoring.
Verbal Abuse
As in the physical abuse section, He has said to Mum "You're putting weight on in the wrong places."
He has said to Mum, "You ruin everything before it's happened" referring to nights out, holidays, day events, going to visit people.
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He makes comments about her financial dependence on him and her weight. For example, he has said to her "I can't keep affording new clothes with you putting weight on."
Constantly set up for failure. Last year he said to Mum six weeks before his graduation ceremony "How are you going to be around all these qualified people? is that going to flare your anxiety?'
Anxiety
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Jumps at any loud sound e.g. lawn mower, dog bark, car backfiring.
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Displaying PTSD symptoms; Anxiety, gagging, wretching and vomiting when talking about the situation.
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Adultery
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Julie Matthews
Was given and ultimatum, 'are you going to make me choose between my 'friend and you?'
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Emotional Abuse
Mum felt like a prisoner in own home; no money, no transport, no support.
Any request for a lift is met with sighs and being told how inconvenient it is. Mum is always made to feel like a burden.
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