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Goodbye Stress by Kelvin Kwan - Coggle Diagram
Goodbye Stress
by Kelvin Kwan
my thoughts prior reading
tension between external demand and your competency
stress could be positive or negative
motivate a man to grow or deteriorate
at different scopes like family, workplace, friend circles, church, ...
mental or physical signs of being stressful
your belief or personality may affect your response and how much stress you perceived of
what stress is?
scenarios
stressful during exam, friends' conflicts,
same scenario but different responses
stress coming up with your perceptions
formula: external condition + internal demand - personal PS ability --> personal experienced stress state
so, try to influence the external conditions, your internal belief and demand and standard, and enhance your ability or seeking assistance in order to relieve your stress level
appropriate stress extent may enhance your living motivatioin
motivation is good
like a string with appropriate tension on an instrument
nature
how stressful you experienced depending on your personal and subjective perceptions
in relationship conflict, be first to be open and keep listening and understanding others
standing in others' shoes and try to be thankful to GOD to seek a positive perspective or view as well
some phenomena of being stress too much - defensive mechanism
illusion
still deeming it is alright and no changes required
denial
ignore the signals from your body or mind
escaping from the reality because mentally can't accept the reality
merit is not to pressing oneself to an extreme like suicide
attitudes to deal with stress you experienced:
learn communication skills and work or life soft skills
healing to illusion or denial
understanding not so healthy to stay in denial or illusion which may help the client to keep living somehow
not to over simplified a personal problem or issue
maybe confrontation to make the client understand the reality
destroy or break down one by one / divide and conquer approach:
to reduce your stress level step by step and break the issue down and doing one point at a time
learn communication skills
voice out: extending the given deadline in a reasonable or negotiable way
voice out; telling mismatching role
utilize project management skills
figuring out (6 Questions) the requirements and set priority and resources to deal with:
break down a big task into small ones on a list
set up a good fundamental structure or framework or setting to deal with your tasks and play your role effectively and efficiently
set priority (urgent, pending, important) (action now, follow up later, pending to see) and resources
seek space and rest and fun and chat time
discerning the matter political and administrated and technical aspects --> how they are interacted and resolved step by step in multiple ways
knowing teamwork and cooperation theories and realities in a workplace
keeping to have a light heart and prayer heart in order to keep laughing or sense of humour
a common question: why me?
dealing with pressure or stress
learn to be good at bearing and became light weighted
change to now what and how?
your belief?
pleasing others? work for your targeted people or clusters of man
pressure turn to motivation?
disappointed thing would not happen to you or others?
facing difficulties with your determination to deal with it but the result may not fit well to all or you and may be failed
best effort in delivery and my consciousness and best knowledge and practice
minor things anyway la
get the remaining alive and grow next la
where there is life, there is hope
affirming your life principles and beliefs and conscious
stand firm with your passion and will and action on
no fear for failure or success; no fear for others' comment; no fear for sole time; no fear for pressure
merit of being broken at career, family or ..., knowing thy in a mirror and set up your goal and pathway again
best effort to work out in the reality !
one of boy scout spirit:
Even in danger or extreme difficult situations, don't forget your smile and whisper in walk or stay
a leopard can change its spots?
your particular personality to responding the events and environment and relationships?
calm and take it easy?
discerning the importance of a matter vs no-brainer stuff or things
everything needs perfect?
why optimistic or pessimistic or neutral first?
eg non-assertive
advantages
easy going, friendly, patient
disadvantage
belittled, becoming a second best. fear for confrontation or conflict or less voice out your stand, hurt others in someways
strike for your right =\ depriving of others' interest or advantages
your stated stand others may not accept
others' wants and feeling you may not need to bear
a golden rule: being and behaving yourself in life and living is to reduce your stress best so sharing or talking about your thoughts or mind would be a way out to your stress.
also, your loyal-hearted friends could be of your support upon your experience or stress you need to deal with
seeking spare time to relax and appreciate everything around you and consider some big decisions
photography, recalling Sam's sharing
planting
doing your hobbies
draw closer to the LORD as a creator, saviour, omni and mighty counsellor, and second-coming LORD
living styles work well?
thinking or mind setting is positive and makes you robust in living?
try positively convince of yourself, even when receiving some negative comments
find a counsellor to chat and resolve your issues if needed !
over-manageable stress alarming levels: stress detectable and measurable and manageable if
bear in mind a man has adaptive ability to manage your stress experienced
stress level adjustments
seek relaxations
rationalized the issue
sleep enough
healthy and balanced diets
living with objectives and targets
avoid alcohol and excessive caffeine, smoking, overeating
loneliness and less contacts with friends
laughing with yourself or having fun and sharing with others
frequent sports and brain training
take precautions and preparation for managing tasks and living
keep economically safe by saving and earning
telling and sharing with your close and caring and loyalty-hearted friends
see doctors or counsellors if needed
reviewing personal persistent belief --> if it is perfect big picture and knowing completely the full story and willing to forgive if it is correct. Think of God's words regarding the concerned issue pitching you
body signals for being stressful
digestion system
over or not eating
vomit
heart and blood vessel
high heart rate
dizzy
headaches
muscles
tense and hard and sore
respiration
short and hard breathing
immune
easily get cold
skin
sweating
hair loss
allergy
sleep
can't sleep
wake up frequently
dreaming
can't get up
tired after sleep
exhaustive suddently
mind signals for being stressful
emotion
unreasonable complaining
irritated, even on minor matters
feel confused or overwhelmed
memory and decision making
poor memory
lack of attention
less able to make a firm decision as usual
regret the decision made
less sound judgment
relationship with others
feeling being single out or looked down or misunderstood or rejected or being laughed
become shy
recess and slow to communicate with others and feel tense with strangers
solo individual time
fear for close space room, diseases, death, guilty about your past or uncertain future
measurement of stress you may exprience
spouse passed away, divorce, separation, jail, death, cancers, marriage, sacked, reunited, family member issue, pregnant, sex problem, career readapted, economic changes, friend passed away, ...
healing ways
review and adjust your beliefs
attention to those belief persistently holding you in tight. that may cause you a high tension or stress
dedicate tasks to others, rather than doing all on your own
not to be yes man at all times
knowing it is normal to reject or being rejected sometimes
not to be focusing every details and make them all perfect. be flexible
persistently seeking excitement so you became overloaded or addicted and body-health neglected?
too achievement demanded like job or partner quit and take?
change those wrong assumption or belief
Too subjective and lack of objective observations and analysis or discussion:
to judge an issue or a person's behaviour merely based on your own experience or standard or feeling or standard
too soon or quick to jump to a personal conclusion and comments on others or an issue
lack of being sensitive to your feeling or reactions
not enough observations and info collection and discussion. try try la
or wildly guess others' comments on you without evidence or facts supported
cautious to your flashing thought and feeling and move
please take a bit of time and be patient
and talk about it within others
try to participate in some sorts of growth up group
reading self-help books
dairy
sharing
aware of family members of your close related persons
seek the source of causing you feel stress
related to your particular perception ?
ask what consequence or outcome would be if failure ?
black or white personally related outcome: perfect or not without any spectrum. too personal related and once result for all times? reasonable?
not properly belittle yourself or sell yourself short
over-think or over-deducted about the comment on yourself or your esteem
too pessimistic to think about the worst outcome merely without think of the positive side of a thing
figure your specific worries or anxieties
my reflection: think of the most difficult time you experienced and compare with the current setting and issue
how to get your preparation for the challenge
review and avoid repeated situation later
making a good foundation to deal with your high stress level experience
think about some good managers who deal with a lot of issues in a relaxed manner and responsible ways. why? they can, you can
healthy self-image and esteem
be confident and humble & rationally accept your constraints in order to take challenges and changes in life
self-esteem or worth make you move forward even facing failure
note your self-esteem perception largely depends on the comments from your parents, teachers, wife, family members, or ego
low self-confident or esteem or self-evaluated result vs your (little as you thought) achievement or equalities of everyone or your potentials you are not well aware of
building a healthy supporting network or system
friends' support or care
God's graceful arrangement & giving better than taking
reasons: being understood, reviewing your standing belief and your persistent self-worth & self-acceptance without any conditions
Building Body Strength as a good foundation
sports for muscle tense and relaxation and flexibility and strenght
sports -->. mental state can change. just for fun in swimming, badminton, not in a competition!
good sleep quality for brain purification and restoring
enough sleeping time not overdone or below the required
not enough sleep --> body's adrenaline hormone high in a fight mode and in turn raise up the hormone for dealing stress --> irritated easily even in a safe common situation
pre-sleep condition is not to get your body or mood excited
3 hrs in advance, please not to eat or drink spicy or caffeine drink or smoking or taking wine
remember good sleep make you a good day tomorrow
so avoid heavy exercises before sleep but doing enough sweating in day time
avoid talking too much or arguing before sleep
avoid watching exciting movies or visually arousing images before sleep
give a personal quiet space for smoothing out your thoughts or ideas before sleep. prayer to the LORD with your whole heart.
sleep well with a good ventilated and clean and dark room
breathing and relaxation exercises may help someways
not to take sleeping pills but just rest as long as you can
diets for enough nutrition without deficiency in body or brain building
vitamin B complex & C for anti-stress symptoms
reduce caffeine added food or drink that causes a man high blood pressure and higher heart rate
reduce high sugar added food like cake that cause one's blood level low or easily get tired so low body state to resist the pressure or stress you experience
reduce to eat those highly salted food like sausage or ham or crispy or sauce because it affects your digestion condition and high blood pressure inside your body
remember a good diet is not fostered in one day only. While many failure or tempted & failed, you surely will improve some days later. Also, knowing what content actually of your wanted food is because the content may not be harmful to your health and should be removed somehow.
a stress reduction plan
personal background
high blood pressure
low back hurt
BMI at margin
frequently low mood with angry & upset
less contact a group of people
shy or frustrated easily?
personalized easily?
giving your living in order
finding out the source of stress
knowing well your enemies first
building up a robust living way
making your creative way to help yourself living easier
using to-do list
take time to listen relaxing music
reduce caffeine food or dring
eating nutritious food with less sugar & low IG & salt & fat & MSG
keep fresh food and hydrated with electrolyte and balanced diet
positive thought first
write down the encouraging quotations as mental vitamine
e.g. for living pursuit, earn the world but lose your life that is worthy to you?
eg recall those appreciated words from your friends during being frustrated
to gratefully treasure what you still have, not just starring at what you lost in regret.
my reflection: I think at diets or purchasing stock, I need more cautious about my momentary impulse that may hurt me physically or mentally
learn to be relaxed
eg deep breathing and relaxation exercises when taking a task like meeting board members or high authorities
take slower pace tand observe and appreciate something around you
because too quick in pace may cause body feeling stressful
take your personal quiet time for a day
listening relaxing music
me time?