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In step with your emotions by simon li and raymond au 1993 breakthrough -…
In step with your emotions by simon li and raymond au
1993
breakthrough
knowing emotion, mood ...
emotion overwhelming or hijacked
way out
want fleeing or get away
flight or flight
describing your emotion
listening your voice and learn to express
understanding emotion
positive or negative emotion are mixed
emotion like
protective system
motivating or driving force
engerging feeling
brave, confident, compassionate, passionate, pleasant, care, thankful, being loved, steadfast, released, achievable
consuming or draining feeling
angry, hate, hurry, dissatisfaction, depressed, painful, being rejected, disappointed, anxious, fear, envy, shameful, guilty, be oppressed, greedy ...
concepts
different people express their feeling in different ways, some are clearly seen but some are not showing up
emotions may not categorized as good or bad
anger --> action to achieve for a goal or hurt others
upset --> solo / personal quiet time or to suicide
happy --> to over dominate the conversations or to buy tea cakes for others to share the happiness
Not wise to immediately response to your feeling:
a real person =\ to follow your feeling to speak or act immediately because your initial feeling should not overwhelm at all that is too short to count on, and your info may not be perfect. So, be calm and let wait and see or give more space among people and make some tests and reflection later to view the focus thing more clearly.
speaking your perception or thoughts about others that would cause certain disasters
it is a responsible actions rather than just voice out your thought without considering others' self-esteem. be conservative and keep margins when getting along with others, esp. your close family members or friends...
people may be sensitive and aware of their own defects
to be sensitive to your or others' emotion needs certain training because it requires steps or stages to identify it correctly and reasons behind
Flight from your emotion
oppressed from ventilation
no example of ventilating one's own emotion
lack of encouragements to talk about
expressing your frustration is rare to see around people in your communities, workplace, even family.
others may view such expression from a weak person
public-image: cool or weak
five impactful emotions
shame
ugly
finding a treehole to hide or speak to
your audience's glory or shame
self-magnifier on failure
lost in a competition: recess, avenge, Newman next day
shame --> motivate to improve yourself
shame -> remind of not over-exposed and not to be disregarded in anyways
belief: nobody is perfect without any mistakes or failure. Importance is of respecting your best effort on making decision and taking possible appropriate actions.
feeling shame on performance is to tell you change and become a better one
facing public with an integrity heart
guilty feeling
life compass: a motivator to choose the best and right
it involves out consciousness and maturity
it causes pain in mind
not found in animals
committing crime and was sentenced
not meeting a standard and fear for not being accepted by others and becoming angry about yourself or others or society to balance the guilty feeling
guilty feeling make you see your worse-self that cause anxiety and fear
barometer of man's unsettled inner life
That's me! Why did i commit such ...?
two ways
as self-made ill-feeing, say good bye to it
make use of it, to make remedial actions like saying sorry or avoid the repeated behaviours next time
too much guilty feeling result in
self-blaming
pursuit of perfect
a always-should or should not person
obsessive compulsive
lack of life enjoying relaxing moments
too little guilty feeling
arguing
anti social
no ethical sense
killing does not matter
as a manipulation mean
guilty --> pity criminals --> others concerns or care
self becomes both the criminal and the judge in a play
to claim the self-righteousness
external intervene
a counsellor to help the clients to make promises clearly in front of others
concerns
your conscious might have been affected by your culture
superego as a judge to evaluate, self-esteem, self-hate, self-punished
too sensitive even in a minor thing
true or appropriate conscious
not for pleasing others
flexible and allowing mistakes happened and objective
not over self blaming or judgmental
using it as a mirror to make you look better
fear
Abraham Maslow said, 'Man can choose to return to a safe state or move progressively. Growth have to go through many times of decision making and fear has to be overcame time by time.'
moving forward needs effort, commitment, determination, overcoming resistance or giving up comfort
a bunch of fear, freedom, maturity vs uncertainty, possible threats and even dangers and failure
frozen and overwhelming by fear vs take courage to work out the challenges?
resistance: seniors' safe advice to stay for safety; not brave boy or girl
thought wrongly that not to mention or facing would make the fear disappeared
brave, action, take responsibility and outcome with my best effort; no fear for failure
see my LORD's generous and kind, rather than harsh demanding without reasons
another concern is about self-esteem is not good enough that hesitate your move
tips:
fear is your friend to alarm you think and act the best;
life is an adventure journey that needs your courage to take risk;
admitting and knowing your fear in more details in order to deal with it rationally and wisely.
no failure is forever, the disappointed outcome may motivate you to make a change for a better future or even a success.
a us president said the worst thing we have to fear is fear itself. Getting used to be friendly with your fear feeling and patiently figure it out and resolve it on your course.
be friend to your fear feeling and move forward anyways.
life threatening situations
mid-night street or forest
people are staring you
on a side of cliff
select a path in life
public speaking
resume working
using a second language in living and working
change career path
hard to deal with it;
often can be recalled in one's memory and appeared real...
body reactions
heart rate up
as an alarm
take some appropriate actions to respond
freeze or flee
anger
perceiving being attacked or hurt or unfair treated
subjective
environmental discomfort
situations
tension incurred in a close relationship, eg parents
football match
justice and right
angry person may know how he/she behaves violently or irritated
easily target you as a focus to scold or blame
people who got angry but not shown up
not satisfying others or quietly blaming or laughing at others
way out
respect your angry emotion
what made you angry and why it happened?
Whether I understood the whole picture and details or I may misunderstand others?
Whether the offender intended to make it happen or accidentally? Would you forgive him/her?
talk to your close rational friends and seeking more objective remarks
remark:
if not forgiving, what you would obtain? trapped within your angry mood
get rid of hate and anger and avenge by loving God and forgiving others
angry but not sinning and forgiving before the day end
prevent your life being eroded
sad
positive perspective
you loved someone or something
remember what someone did to you
people avoid it
commonly related to death
a terminal patient may deny the bad news from doctor
way oiut
accept the fact and your upset mood
ventilate it by telling or crying
accepting the separation
if possible, saying goodbye and no regret and respect
handle your emotion
not unrealistic and able to face the reality and the thrust of your emotion
mature on emotion because it is a part of you and could be lovely and make your life rich
3 steps
listening to your emotional voice and observe your body signal or changes upon your emotion
recap your memory about how you feel in one day
morning & noon: energy to choose best for myself (breakfast fit for me; the probiotics choice analysis)
afternoon: pleasant to go out to buy fruit and sushi
evening:
at night:
observe your body signal
heart rate goes up?
face flushes?
your eye contact to others
muscle tense or relax
fingers tense or relaxed
throat tight and breathe smooth?
hand and fingers cold or warm?
hand foot energized and keeps moving
your lips and mouth is smiling?
you would speak something good or thankful or positive?
your eyes are relaxed on looking around
your neck and head are moving in relaxing
you would speak and act for your interest and right?
you speak?
your motions can mix together and one is main only
you may ask yourself about what about you feel now? ( reserve spare time to do it at meal time)
what emotion you think?
your emotion is grounded on solid fact or reasons?
emotion magnitude is proportional to the fact or event you experienced?
your emotion is related to your past experience?
do you allow such emotion to come up? if not, why?
accept your identified emotion because they are not classified good or bad. Note not to be looking strong all the time but let it be real in front of others. We are human being with emotion high or low.
rewriting or adjust your habits of responding to such emotions;
sharing your how you feel and why you feel may be good
eg for me, feeling loneliness, i would became angry and over-eating to hurt myself or temporarily cover the underlying feeling
now I change to oing sports or chatting or reading or
...
note: emotion telling you how you perceiving of the surrounding environment
so it may need to access your fundamental belief or habits or how the relationship is doing
facing angry
how you got hurt and voice out if any not reasonable matters, and suggest your stands
speaking bad words
strong eye sights
speaking in tense
facing fear
go with it and take courage to step forward and face the challenges and respond
silent, walking sitting not stable
facing shame / shy
how it comes from? your weakness or constraints? acknowledge and address them. decide whether to make effort to improve yourself
avoid eye contact, speaking not aloud, short & hard, face flush
facing guilty
knowing what inappropriateness you incurred? if related to God or yourself, please ask for forgiving. If related to others, say sorry for remedial actions as your best.
quiet, wandering, lose air, over-eating
facing upset or sadness
open and let the things gone and your hands open to receive something new
tears, recall memory, no smile, sad face
talk to your emotions and acknowledge / affirm / accept them in your lives and try best to understand how it comes up.
take or adopt some appropriate actions in responsse
affective education
introduction
emotion or mood is of you like your arm or leg, it is your friend accompanying you
you get used to go along with your emotion honestly and swiftly
believe your emotion would be your best assistant to alert or guide you, rather than a trouble maker
proposed structure or framework
knowledge or concepts & mood --> will --> act
John white suggested to take solitude to reignite your motivation and will to step forward and break through
writing dairy may help recall your life and living and your heart
psycho-analysis
client take the remark from the therapist and let it sink deep and work through in order to get the insight
it requires 5 times a week
changes need to take time, not an instant change
knowing =\ insight =\ change in behaviour
change
people influence people
go together with those you want to become
enrich your life sentimentally
sharing with your close friends or seniors
learn to listen
being influenced <--> influence others
your enthusiastic would influence your people around
being pointed out what is irrational belief is just the initial steps and needs more steps to make a change
old passed and new comes tomorrow
though your past experience affects how you think and feel at present. But, not to forget your life is moving forward without a halt, your future can be determined by your present feel and act.