Even if a divorce is amicable, it can still be difficult and confusing for children. Their homes and home lives are drastically changing and children can experience feelings of fear, uncertainty, anger, disappointment, as well as feelings of guilt or self-blame over their parents' divorce. Children's reaction to and copping with divorce can widely differ, even between children in the same family. Some signs that a child is struggling to cope are: poor or declining grades in school, behavioral problems - "acting out" to gain attention, unwillingness to cooperate with everyday activities, new or increased irrational fears, loss of interest in things they once enjoyed, low self-esteem and withdrawal, mood swings, and regressing to younger behaviors.
Suggestions: Create and maintain an atmosphere of openness and respect for non-traditional families and emphasize that there are many different types o f families. This is best established in the beginning of the year. Remember divorce is not a single event, but an ongoing part of a child's life. Provide consistency and structure, things are changing and uncertain at home, so keep school and their classroom a place of stability and routine. If there is a change in the routine or schedule, inform the child ahead of time. Be a safe, listening ear. Listen to their feelings and give assurance that what they are feeling is valid, but that they are in no way responsible for their parents' divorce or problems. Offer affirmation and acknowledge their efforts. Let them know that they are valued. [Nichelle]
“Following their parents’ separation, children may regress, display anxiety and depressive symptoms, appear more irritable, demanding and noncompliant, and experience problems in social relationships and school performance” (Lee and Bax, 2000). The best way we can help this type of student is to involve the parents or guardians of the child in oepn communication with the students teachers. As well as encourage therapy or counseling for the child and parents. Feelings of neglect turn into much more unhealthy things as children grow into adults. (Mel)
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