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Integrative Self Inquiry - Coggle Diagram
Integrative Self Inquiry
Self Making Narrative: Through my social media I portrayed all of the exciting fun things going on in my life, like my grad party and winning the regional title. What I didn't show was that my Grannies had passed away and I was struggling terribly with her death. I was trying to portray the narrative that I was carefree, living to the fullest in my senior year. As the captain of my soccer team, I felt obligated to appear strong as we played our most important games, crafting the narrative of a strong leader.
Internal Rhteoric:
"Don't show them you are hurting"
"If you sit around being sad you're going to waste your senior year"
"You just won regionals which you worked so hard for, you should be happy!"
"Be grateful for this party don't waste it being upset"
"Be a leader, leaders don't show weakness"
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I chose to post this picture because it shows the happiness and excitement of winning the regional title, despite it being a few days after my Grannies had passed. This song was one of our warmup songs on my public playlist that captures the excitement of the event.
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I did not choose to post this picture of my Grannies after she passed because I didn't want to make my pain public. The song is about wishing that somebody would get better from a terminal illness, which I chose to keep on my private playlist because it reveals a certain sense of pain and does not align with the narrative of being carefree and happy.
Self Making Narrative: My car had been rear ended and totaled by a girl from school. I had a severe concussion and bruising and was on heavy pain medication. However, I wanted to portray the narrative that I was strong. I wanted to appear as if I had been effected and wasn't struggling with my injuries. In my senior year, a time that was supposed to be the most exciting of all of high school, I didn't want to be constantly sad or hurting.
Internal Rheotric:
"Everyone will think you are weak if you wallow in this"
"You're not permanently injured people have it way worse"
"If you seem upset about this it will cause drama and people might get mad at you for it"
"At least you're fine"
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I chose not to post or share this picture because it shows my struggle and my weakness. I struggled to go to school and in everyday life for weeks after the crash. This song is on my private playlist that friends can't see because it is about being broken and trying to put yourself back together.
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I chose to post this picture because I look happy and strong, not struggling with a head and neck injury. This song gives the same happy and carefree feel and is on my published playlists that friends can see.
Self Making Narrative: Both of my siblings had attended UVA as well as other family members. I wanted to avoid the narrative of being a disspointment. I wanted to portray the narrative that I was smart, accomplished and proud, also seen as a success narrative. When I got waitlisted at UVA, I wanted to hide the fact I had not been accepted to my first choice, and instead portray the narrative of success and overachievement when going to JMU.
Internal Rhetoric:
"You're the oddball out in the family"
"You aren't successful because you didn't get into your first choice"
"You have to seem like JMU was your first choice or people will think you aren't excited"
"Everyone is going to wonder why you didn't end up at UVA"
"You are lucky to get to go to JMU be thankful"
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I didn't choose to make my rejection from UVA public because I felt like it portrayed the narrative of failure. This song is about trying extremely hard and still feeling like you are not good enough, because of the message I choose to keep it on a private playlist. I chose not to post or display these songs because they don't align with my narrative of overachievement or sucessfulnesss.
Questions being explored: How was my digital extension influenced by the narrative I was trying to create?
What role did my internal rhetoric play in guiding what I post?
Why did I choose to post some things or publish some playlists and not others?
How is my digital extension of self through music similar to my digital extension of self through social media? :star:
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