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2658341 - Coggle Diagram
2658341
Covert Narcissist
The difference is not in the way they think but in the way these thoughts manifest
These are pervasive patterns of behaviour meant to manipulate another person to do what you want
Appear fragile and charming. Sweet and even insecure. Ex. Oh, what a nice person!
Backhanded complements meant to under mind your self-estem, all while being nice. Others may say that you are putting too much thought into it.
They can be self-deprecating when giving these statements. There is a point where they want you to contradict what they are saying. Ex. Oh no! I'm so bad at this. No, no! You are great!
Their public image is different than their private image. What they say about themselves in public is very contradictory to who they really are
They're hyper-jealous of other people. And bitter envy, jealousy. CN is filled with bitter envy and they are not going to share this in public. They are always aware of rank, how they rank next to other people. There tends to be a high emphasis on appearance (how does this person look compared to me?). They put people down that have achieved more than them, they will find some way to reason that the person was lucky or had some advantage or help from others, in comparison to themselves who did not have advantages and suffered difficulties - the oh poor me.
The problem with growing up being around the bitter envy and jealousy causes one to begin to believe that everybody thinks that way. You begin to not trust people because this person you are so close to, is not trustworthy because they probably do this to other people.
Being fake to people in public and mean in private - seeing that as a child leads to one believe that everyone must do that
Tend to sabotage other people's relationships or work. They may go to extremes like lying, to make people believe that you are not a good person
Often expect others to care for them emotionally and solve their problems. They may first present as really needy and have excuses as to why they can't or need help - including reasons why they didn't meant their "full potential". They will have all these 'reasons' as to why they need YOUR help. Overtime you will realize that, they aren't grateful, they aren't doing anything to change their situation and you keep feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough. Victim stance
Their main form of communication is passive aggressive. The CN does not directly say how they are feeling or what they need or want. They will try to get you to do what they want without actually saying what it is they want you to do. PA communication at its very nature is kind of a lie, it false, as it is not stating the truth of how you feel or want.
Fake empathy. Might appear to have enormous empathy but the CN is very skilled at pretending to have empathy. They may have cognitive empathy - the ability to understand why people feel what they feel, mentally, but they can not extend that to actual full empathy. They will use this knowledge to manipulate others.
The CN may love animals and show great empathy/care for animals but it is because an animal, especially dogs, will give their owner undying admiration
Covert not in the way of being secret. These are the vulnerable anxious socially less skilled and resentful narcissist.
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A child who's being mentally abused by their parents, doesn't stop loving their parents. They stop loving themselves.