America: Truthfully, I've rarely given much thought to my identity as an American. That being said, I feel like I have sort of internalized the general American cultural emphasis of individualism. This manifests for me in 2 interconnected ways, loneliness and self-improvement, both of which are ideas that I constantly apply to myself, often together. For the former, I resent that form of individualism since it's not glamorous or triumphant but instead just distance from everyone else. It conflicts with traditional individualist rhetoric since for me, it sets me apart from others by lowering my status instead of elevating it. That said, self-improvement acts as the other side of the same coin. I don't want to be better than others but I do want to feel like I'm on their level. I'd still correlate it with individualism given that it is a mindset focused on one's self more than anything else. These 2 ideas tends to conflict while feeding into each other for better and for worse. Depending on the situation, one will fuel the other in a way that either makes me view myself as a failure or someone on the path of success. Whenever they're matched, I tend to be confused as to how to even view myself.
Arlington: I often feel like I lack an identity and I think my hometown contributes to that. For whatever reason, I just don't seem to know locations around here. I'll hear familiar names of streets and restaurants without knowing where they are or having any emotional attachment to them. I feel so underdeveloped as a person and my lack of clarity with my home might be one of the origins of that idea. That said, I probably wasn't helped by the fact that Arlington itself is a pretty gentrified are devoid of a lot of personality, but I still feel as if everyone who grew up around me managed to be more defined as human beings than myself.
Work: Back home, I work at a Regal Theater in a mall, primarily as a cleaner. I developed an idea of hard work and endurance because there were days that felt like I was in a war zone with how much mess was left behind despite trash cans being the first thing one sees when they enter any of the auditoriums. I feel almost obsessively detail-oriented, almost like a perfectionist, when it comes to cleaning up small things like crumbs and strips of seat leather. Their size makes them rather tedious to sweep up, especially on carpet and/or in large quantities. Evidently, most of my coworkers tend to ignore them when they don't come in too large of doses.
Harrisonburg: Living here has had a conflicting effect on how I view myself. On one hand, I do feel a little more developed as a person, specifically because I was closer to "adult life" being that I was living without my parents and doing solidly well at it. But I also still felt the sting of underdevelopment whenever I hear my fellow students talk about going to places in the town like bars, restaurants and cat cafes, and it makes me realize that I still haven't taken many steps to properly engross myself in an area, thus I still feel like everyone is more mature than me.