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Hack #6: Human Decoder - Coggle Diagram
Hack #6: Human Decoder
Anger
- Eyebrows lowered and pinched together - forming vertical lines between eyebrows
- Eye glare
- Tightened/narrowing of lips (pressed firmly tgt, in a position to yell)
When i see anger, i think Opportunity (Explore the anger and how to expel it > Stay calm not defensive or offensive > Explain to make them feel less threatened)
- Immediately pause and explain the rationale behind what you said, so that the person has the full context and understands your perspective
- Then before moving on, ask if there's any remaining questions about your speech
- Once you finished, circle back to the topic to see if you still spot any anger
Fear
- Widened eyes
- Raised eyebrows with horizontal lines in center of forehead about flat level between eyebrows
- Raised upper eyelids
- Tensed lower eyelids
- Slightly opened mouth
- Lips slightly stretched horizontally back to ears
When I see fear, I think there must be more...
- Address: Is there anything wrong? Are you okay?
- Sooth: Anything you need my help with?
- Comfort: Can you reassure, re-evaluate, or remove the threat
Disgust
"Ewwww"
- Wrinkling of upper nose
- Lifting of upper lips
- Raising of cheeks
- Tightening of lower lids
When I see disgust, I think we better get to the bottom of this
- Ppl often flash disgust when they are trying to think of a polite way to say they don't like something, when they are worried about offending ppl...so if you want the truth you have to give ppl permission to express their true feelings
- Permission: Let them tell you how they really feel
- Openness: Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion
- Solve: How can you fix the dislike
Contempt
Feelings of disrespect/dislike
- A one-sided cheek lift
- Pulling up right or left corner of mouth
- Lip corner tightened and raised only on one side of face
- Often called "smirking"
When I see contempt, I think Red Flag(When it isn't addressed, it festers and grows into deep disrespect and hatred)
- Find the source: What is causing this contempt? (Anything you are worried about?)
- Re-evaluate: How can you address this issue such that everyone feels just and fair?
- Build rapport: Where can you agree?
Surprise
- Eyebrows raised and rounded
- Widened eyes
- Mouth open
- Intake of breath
When I see surprise, I hope we are on the same page...
- Clarify: Do they know what you know?
- Qualify: What needs to happen next?
- Equate: How can you get on the same page
Happiness
- Engaged cheek muscles
- Possible lip parting with teeth visible
- Wrinkling along side of eyes
When I see happiness, I think Celebration
- Celebrate: Smile with them, savor the moment
- Capitalize: Ask for details, jump into joy with them
- Express gratitude: Tell them you are so excited they want to share their happiness with you
Sadness
- Corner of eyebrows pinched together
- Drooping of eyelids
- Puffing or pouting of lower lip
- Pull corners of mouth into an upside down U
When I see sadness, I think empathy
- Understanding: Is everything okay?....Those are rough, is anything wrong?
- Empathy: How can I help?
- Space: How much time do they need to recover?
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