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ALL BY MYSELF - Coggle Diagram
ALL BY MYSELF
INTRO
Hi, I’m Liz, part of the team at Favor
One of the highlights of my week: STAYIN’ ALIVE
Recently came back from FAVOR BRISBANE
Last week Ps James started a series called RELATIONSHIP STATUS
RE-ENGAGE
BOUNDARIES
Today, I want to preach about something that I consider myself to be pretty good at. No, I’m not preaching about SINGLENESS.
That’s what they asked me to preach about, but I wanted to preach about something that not only single people will relate to, although maybe single people will relate to it more than others.
No matter what our relationship status, I believe all of us have gone through this feeling of being ALONE or DOING LIFE ALONE.
THE TITLE OF MY MESSAGE TODAY IS:
ALL BY MYSELF
Eric Carmen in 1975, Ronnie Dyson in 1973
ZERO songs about “I Want to Be Lonely”
NO ONE WANTS TO BE LONELY OR FEEL LIKE THEY’RE ALL BY THEMSELVES
No one ever says “My goal is to be lonely”
But we do say “My goal is to be INDEPENDENT / SUCCESSFUL / FINANCIALLY STABLE / BE WELL-LIKED / HAVE INFLUENCE / NOT BE STRESSED OUT BY PEOPLE / NEVER GET HURT”
Some of these aren’t bad things, but TAKEN TO THE EXTREME, we end up ISOLATING/PUSHING PEOPLE AND BLESSINGS AWAY > LONELINESS > INDIFFERENCE
Loneliness ALL-TIME HIGH even if we’re MOST DIGITIALLY CONNECTED
DIfferent factors that make us lonely: BUSYNESS, COMPARISON, LIFE STAGES, CONFLICT, FEELING MISUNDERSTOOD, REJECTION, TRAUMA, AGING, etc.
Today, I’m preaching about loneliness.
Loneliness is insidious, because sometimes, PEOPLE CAN’T EVEN TELL IT’S THERE
SHOW OF HANDS: Who felt lonely in the last 3 years?
ME
As I said, I was gonna preach about something I was pretty good at. I’m pretty good at BEING LONELY (Not a good thing sometimes)
MY EXPERIENCE (Family, homework, school, singleness, work, driving myself to the hospital, moving to another country, fitted sheets, IKEA shelves, etc.)
I WAS TOO GOOD at being LONELY / INDEPENDENT…but MISERABLE
I thought a CAREER and LOVE LIFE would solve the misery I was feeling
In one, I FELT LIKE I WAS FAILING, and in the OTHER, I WAS SUCCEEDING, but the misery wasn’t going away, and I still felt like there was SOMETHING MASSIVE THAT WAS MISSING and I felt ALONE.
YOU
Maybe you can relate to me: TEENAGER, SINGLE, MARRIED, SEPARATED, WIDOWED, FOREIGNER, MISUNDERSTOOD, REJECTED, LEFT BEHIND, DISPLACED, OVERWHELMED WITH PRESSURE, TRAUMATIZED and HURT
I’m NOT TALKING TODAY about a FLEETING FEELING OF LONELINESS, like the one that last for a few seconds or minutes, like a coughing or sneezing spell. I’m talking about the kind of loneliness or ALONE-NESS that’s stuck around for days, months, or years.
Whether you’ve struggled with loneliness recently or you’ve struggled with it all your life—maybe for some of you, you’re not there right now, but there is someone in your life struggling with it, I’M GOING TO SHARE SOME THOUGHTS ON WHAT LONELINESS CAN DO AND WHAT CAN DO—and I tell you, what God does is bigger and better.
LONELINESS MAKES US THINK WE’RE MISSING OUT, BUT GOD DOESN’T WITHHOLD ANY GOOD THING
FOMO?
If we have God, WE HAVE ALL WE NEED AND WANT
Psalm 16:11 ESV:
“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
The enemy LIED TO and DECEIVED Adam and Eve about God (WITHHOLDING vs. PROTECTING)
The enemy STILL LIES TO US TODAY —- WHO TOLD YOU YOU’RE ALONE??? UNWANTED? REJECTED? FORGOTTEN? NOT ENOUGH? NOT SPECIAL? A FAILURE? A BURDEN?
NOT GOD! There is no condemnation in Christ.
James 4:7-8 NIV
- “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”
One of the lies the enemy loves to peddle: “YOU’D BE BETTER OFF SOMEWHERE ELSE. THE GRASS IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE.”
MY EXPERIENCE ABOUT WATERING THE GRASS OF MY LIFE
Doc asking me: “WHAT NEW THING DID YOU DO?” (How did you step out in faith this week?)
Psalm 16:5-6 NIV
- “Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.”
One season is not better than the other. IT’S JUST DIFFERENT. Different blessings, different challenges.
There is blessing WITHIN THE BOUNDARY LINES SET BY GOD vs. others (as evidenced by my life)
Psalm 84:11 NLT
- “For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”
We gotta know this about THE CHARACTER OF GOD / Adam and Eve were made to believe otherwise
This promise is for those who WALK UPRIGHTLY / DO WHAT IS RIGHT / TRUST IN HIM
LONELINESS ISOLATES US, BUT GOD CONNECTS US
What we’ve turned to when we’re lonely: COPING MECHANISMS
Definition of lonely: UNHAPPY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT WITH OTHER PEOPLE
None of our coping strategies work because what God appointed to solve our loneliness can be seen here:
Psalm 68:5-6a NIV
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families...”
Where there is no provision, God provides himself, but where there is provision, GOD PROVIDES FAMILIES
In this generation and our culture, we’ve seemed to place a premium on independence and individualism…but WHAT IF WE’RE WRONG? WHAT IF THE ENEMY HAS FOOLED US
FAMILY in BIBLE TIMES / Big and diverse BY DESIGN!
If there’s one thing Filipinos are good at, it’s FAMILY. It’s in our DNA (talk about Favor Brisbane)
If there’s one thing Filipinos are bad at, it’s ALSO FAMILY.
We tend to focus on the bad things about family instead of working on the bad things but also EMBRACING THE BLESSINGS // can’t just have one or the other
I EXPERIENCED THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS WHEN I WAS LIVING IN THE USA
I bought the lie: SINGLENESS = LONELINESS >>> Joined SINGLES MINISTRY
The greatest need of singles is not a spouse, it’s a FAMILY
APPEAL TO MARRIED PEOPLE
Singles
FAMILY IS NOT JUST PEOPLE LIKE US.
1 Corinthians 12:12-14 NLT
“The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part.”
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 NLT
“If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.”
We all need each other: Favor Youth, Favor Movement, FavorPro, Favor Seasoned — we are ONE.
Tito Danny posted:
“A church community where you’ll never be afraid to age because every season of life is celebrated.”
We need to INVEST in each other and SUPPORT one another. (GIVE EXAMPLES)
We need to HONOR one another.
We need to LEARN from one another
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
We NEED each other
Don’t just connect to one, CONNECT TO MANY, because God gave us an abundance of people to connect to.
Nurture your FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS and FRIENDSHIPS.
When we do, we PERSONALLY are sharpened and shaped in DIFFERENT WAYS.
That’s why we encourage people to join CONNECTS, to SERVE, and spend time with our COMMUNITIES.
But also, when we do, us as a CHURCH that LOOKS OUT FOR EACH OTHER, WE ARE STRENGTHENED as well.
Don’t STAY IN CLIQUES. BE OPEN, CURIOUS, and GRACIOUS.
LONELINESS TAKES AWAY OUR HOPE, BUT GOD GIVES US ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WE CAN ASK FOR OR IMAGINE
In the book of Ephesians, Paul ends one of his prayers with an interesting, often quoted verse:
Ephesians 3:20 NLT -
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.”
We love the promise - but he actually does it WITHIN US
IN SPITE OF and THROUGH LONELINESS…
GOD HEALS US
Proverbs 13:12 ESV -
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
God wants to heal us of our FALSE HOPES AND EXPECTATIONS
God uses our seasons of loneliness to HEAL US — it caused me to look inward and see if there was anything blocking love from coming in.
Usually, chronic (long seasons) of loneliness is a symptom,
FEAR OR PRIDE IS THE ACTUAL SICKNESS, GOD HAS THE CURE
How God healed me: HUMILITY, RENEWING MY MIND THROUGH PARTICIPATING IN MY OWN HEALING
He TRANSFORMS us and helps us BREAK GENERATIONAL AND CULTURAL PATTERNS
Hurt people, hurt people. ISOLATED PEOPLE, ISOLATE PEOPLE.
We do what we learned from the people before us.
Romans 12:2 NLT
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Learning a new way of life is COUNTERINTUITIVE and UNCOMFORTABLE (ex: driving in Australia) but it OPENS UP NEW PATHWAYS TO NEW DESTINATIONS
“The FAMILY you’ve been looking for” = THE FUNCTIONAL and HEALTHY family we’ve been looking for
What I learned here transformed me
HE GIVES PURPOSE AND USES US TO BE A BLESSING
One of the MOST MEANINGFUL COMPLIMENTS I RECEIVE
Your GREATEST WEAKNESS could be your greatest strength
There are MANY LONELY PEOPLE in your world and they need you
“How can I have anything to give?” // Guess who God uses?
Romans 8:28 ESV -
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
When I realize my pain has a purpose, it doesn’t hurt as much. Instead of seeing my brokenness and emptiness as a FLAW, I see it as an AVENUE for God’s love to FLOW
HE BLESSES US
I was looking for love from one person, but instead, God showed me love through MULTIPLE people.
NAME EXAMPLES: staff, aitons, favor girls, favor college, family, Titas of Favor
Why listen to me? I may not be married…but I am RICH IN LOVE and RICH IN PURPOSE. I have INFINITELY MORE than I COULD ASK or THINK.
NOT ALL BY MY OWN EFFORT, but COMBINED WITH THE GRACE AND FAVOR OF GOD. And God CAN DO THE SAME FOR YOU.
Psalm 37:4 ESV
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
This is the best BUNDLE DEAL: When we delight in him, not only are our desires transformed, but we got a 2 for one because DELIGHTING IN THE LORD IS A WIN AND REWARD IN ITSELF.
It took me a while to get this. MY KOREA STORY (also mention K-Dramas and a side note) - ”
Luke 11:34 -
“The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light; but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness.
LONELINESS MAKES US FEEL UNLOVED, BUT GOD LOVES US
My story of coming to Jesus: UNDERSTANDING HE LOVED ME
John 3:16 ESV
““For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Whoever BELIEVES in him…we don’t have to earn it.
He loves you. LIKE KOREA…that thing you’re looking for, it’s already AVAILABLE to you. The question is whether you want to RECEIVE and ACCESS it.
ALTAR CALL
We started with the devil deceived us which led to us living a life of turning away from God and trying to save ourselves…which results in hopelessness and spiritual death
But God loved us so much that he made a way to be saved through Jesus and HAVE ETERNAL LIFE
All it takes for us is to REPENT…turn away from the OLD LIFE…and then to BELIEVE…
Romans 10:9
says - “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
BELIEVE that Jesus says who he says he is and that he died for our sins, and that when we PUT OUR FAITH IN HIM, we are saved
If you’re here today and you’ve been doing life very much on your own and not with God…I’m not asking you if you’ve had a bad day or week, but you just haven’t made that decision EVER or you made it a long time ago but you know it’s been a LONG TIME since you’ve let God into your life and your heart, I want to invite you to make that decision today to let Jesus. Be your Lord AND SAVIOR.
Repeat after me: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come before you today and ask you to forgive my sin. I believe that you died and rose again so that I would be saved. I invite you into my heart today. Would you be my Lord and Savior. I give my heart to you today. In your mighty name I pray. Amen.
If you prayed that prayer…
MINISTRY TIME
For those who have STRUGGLED / are STRUGGLING
For EVERYONE