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Connect: building exceptional relationships with family, friends, and…

- - - - fear of conflict --> bury irritants? or unspoken blocking among you?
      - raise your concerns or address their concerns --> what happen --> successfully deepen the relationship?
      - raise and attempt to resolve --> not a final lose in the long run but pain in the short term. So, interpersonal skills can help out during the processes?
      - motivated by the learning during raising and resolving such challenges in the process
        
        your valuable experience coming from by the time you live with it:
        teaching, consulting and coaching, volunteering, ...
        
        no perfect, ever shaping your life and lives, ha ha
        others of your close persons might see different or even complain about you
        
        experience comes from "lesson" which might be painful and cheery finally
    - - think about support & challenge
  - - - one end: you feel known, supported, affirmed, and fully accepted
      - the other end is experiencing contact without real connection
      - the midst: want to get closer to some people you feel attached in life
    - - Is it possible to get stored, repaired or recovered? (of course, the initial moment is better and the journey would be easier. However, it does not mean a repaired relationship is not valuable or a deepen relationship?
    - - get prepared for transform or changes but also for resistance in applications
      - response: how to: giving or receiving feedback appropriately?
      - differences among us: how to connect across?
      - to your aim or vision: how to influence others?
      - setting: engaging yourself in a real situation and time for dynamic interactions
      - life is like a lab for you and me?? what reward do you expect from it??
      - bear in mind: certainly someones are muddling or crunching in your group and attempt to give impacts to others?
      - interpersonal skills can help out your leadership impact because of connect, trust and influence
      - reward/motive: better person in living??
      - anyone can pick up or even master it well? yeah
      - skills: observations, exposure, outreaching to communicate people of different cultures; conversation (surface - facts, opinions, feeling or judgments ...
      - be prepared to various occasions of interactions
      - can everyone is your deep relationship? necessary? or enough effort to put with? most relationships are causal or less in-depth that is normal.
    - - a kind of authentic interactions & communications
- - - - what competencies need to develop?
    - - no guarantee on the success of connecting you want
    - - looking outward to understand others
      - focusing inward to be yourself
      - engaging needs your mindfulness
    - - dancing with your partners like a tango
        
        the other one you can't control
        
        you may decide your own attitude and responses
        
        balancing the influence power among your group
    - - but, it may end up exceptional or not
      - put best effort on your part but the others you may encourage or guide but cannot control somehow
  - - - more open and personal communications
        
        better mutual understanding and more connected areas
        
        trust built --> more self disclose (more risks & vulnerable)
        
        repeat the cycle and better reinforcement
        
        talk about some difficult issues at work or in the family
        
        the relationship turns to become more important to each other
        
        possible contention because of obligations and expectations from each other --> complex relationship
        
        if the conflict or annoyances are resolved well, the relationship turns to a stronger one
        
        better openness and honesty
        
        it is about what you expect to get from each other
        
        healthy relationship: balanced power
        
        each of you get similar extent of satisfaction
        
        building interdependency: ask for help or turn it down naturally
        
        knowing how to deal with challenges and conflict
        
        can be a great support to the other
        
        discuss issues openly, give and receive feedback and grow (p.15)
    - - reality: conflicts or challenges or crisis often present and make you scary
        adv: humbly resolving a critical issue to strengthen the trust and enhance the mutual understanding and promote a higher level of disclosure
        disadv: potentially tear the bonding of the relationship
        
        so, making the conflict productively:
        if members are able to support each other and openly discuss issues and take feedbacks and grow up by the end
        
        try out some joyful shared experiences, layered disclosures and ever-increasing trust
    - - humble to learn with your curiosity: what it is and why my best way did not work
      - open (continuous learning for your long term personal growth)
        
        let go your usual way or thought or attitudes in your responses
        
        being game to try new things and willing to make mistakes
        
        mistakes help you learn rather than embarrassed matters to hide
      - exploratory with curiosity
        
        look inside and outside
        
        thinking: why it doesn't work
        
        not blaming others
      - a growth up opportunity
      - effort to put for pick up skills or competencies and applies your learnt and reflect your inner being:
        recall: whether the part of enemy is me
      - finally: make a choice to take a change in your responses and let see the outcome (be prepared to the resistance from you or the environment),
        e.g. it seems not you but later it's you
        
        it may take your hard work and best effort but it worth and may enrich your life
      - steps for your learning journey in making some good relationships to very good or even exceptional ones
        
        select your targeted relationships
        
        family
        
        i can be fully myself but feel the others not fully
        
        I'm willing to be vulnerable but the others seems not taking risk
        
        brave to disclose myself but they depend
        
        I can be almost honest but the others don't talk themselves much
        
        i avoid to deal with conflict and they seem better to talk about it
        
        do: to tell my situation more and difficulties I faced to them rather than my final decision
        
        little time to talk about the personal growth issue
        
        friends
        
        both can be vulnerable and take some risk
        
        almost being the true self
        
        trust each other during self-disclosure
        
        both being honest
        
        avoid conflict most of time
        
        doing: tell them my embarrassing situation or what I want or like in a soft way and address their like or concerns
        
        church fellows
        
        not fully myself or themselves
        
        sometimes willing to be vulnerable
        
        self-disclosure are found ok
        
        seems honest among us
        
        avoid conflict
        
        no such commitment for helping others' personal growth
        
        ask for their help if needed
        
        self-reflection:
        how the learnt content relates to the selected relationships
        
        apply the learnt content to across all the selected relationship
        
        direction: making the relationship stronger and deeper
        
        take opportunity to share your goal with them, in order to ask them for help later
        
        not sure whether they would join your learning journey
        
        application
        apply the learnt content to the relationship for making it stronger
        
        Making sense
        reflect on what your learned from your doing
        
        how it was going like in the process of application?
        
        what you learned about yourself and about building stronger connections?