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3 Ch1. Blast the Lies Your Mind Tells You About Yourself and Women, attach…
3 Ch1. Blast the Lies Your Mind Tells You About Yourself and Women
Bad Daters
Isolation
avoid social situations where they might have to talk to people whom they don’t know.
social anxiety. This is especially pronounced around desirable women.
To reduce their anxiety, BDs tend to keep to themselves and take few social risks.
Lack of Skill
Most men have never learned how to banter, flirt, test, close the deal, or break up with a woman
This often results in a general lack of confidence
BDs tend to avoid women or become a “girlfriend with a penis” with women whom they desire, hoping this will eventually lead to deeper intimacy
SLB
bad daters struggle with issues of self-acceptance and confidence
They typically believe that women can tell they are "losers" just by looking at them
Why would a good woman want me?
I’m boring.
Historically
your best thinking has gotten you
exactly where you are right now
lonely and frustrated
Toxic Shame
deeply held, unconscious belief
Bad
Defective
Unlovable
Your mind will always work to make sure your mental beliefs
are consistent with the non-verbal, emotional beliefs you internalized as a young child.
Uncomfortable Feeling
lonely
isolated
anxious
fearful
bad
unloved
attach personal meaning to these feelings
I’m lonely because I’m not good enough.
When people find out how defective I really am, they all leave me.
I feel depressed because no one likes me.
If I was just taller, thinner, smarter, more outgoing, richer, etc., etc., then I wouldn’t feel so lonely.