How does honor and shame affect the conflict resolution processes of Iraqi women with Americans in Clarkston, GA?

In Iraq, when your grandmother had a conflict, what did she do?

A conflict is a clash of interests, ideas, perceptions, or feelings that can create a lot of disharmony and hard feelings.

Conflict resolution is conceptualized as the methods and processes involved in facilitating the peaceful ending of conflict and retribution. Committed group members attempt to resolve group conflicts by actively communicating information about their conflicting motives or ideologies to the rest of group (e.g., intentions; reasons for holding certain beliefs) and by engaging in collective negotiation.[1] Dimensions of resolution typically parallel the dimensions of conflict in the way the conflict is processed. Cognitive resolution is the way disputants understand and view the conflict, with beliefs, perspectives, understandings and attitudes. Emotional resolution is in the way disputants feel about a conflict, the emotional energy. Behavioral resolution is reflective of how the disputants act, their behavior.[2] Ultimately a wide range of methods and procedures for addressing conflict exist, including negotiation, mediation, mediation-arbitration,[3] diplomacy, and creative peacebuilding.[4][5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_resolution

How is the conflict addressed? How is a problem communicated? At what point is mediation needed? Who mediates among women? Among men? What are the power dynamics in each of these scenarios? Is there usually an expected result? (like, the one with more authority 'wins' the argument?) Does the party in the wrong own their fault? Is forgiveness common? What does forgiveness look like? How do you know a conflict is resolved? How do both parties feel towards each other after the conflict is resolved?

Grandma and conflict with peer

Grandma conflict with her mother

Grandma and conflict with her husband?

Grandma and conflict with her boss (or someone with authority over her outside the home

Grandma and conflict with a child

After asking about the grandma, ask her about a time she had a conflict with an elder, a peer, someone outside the family/in-group, a child... Do the conflict styles match up? What is different?

After the resolution of the conflict, is there a behavior change in the grandmother or in the other party? (More respectful, keeps a distance, gossips about that person, holds a grudge, etc...)

"A sin covered is half forgiven." Arab proverb

How does this speak to honor shame culture and collectivist societies? How would someone from an individualistic society perceive proverb?

What is different about how Americans handle conflict? When an American peer has a conflict with you, what does she do? When a boss has a conflict with you, what does she do? How do you respond? How does it make you feel? When do you know the conflict has been resolved? How do you feel afterwards?

What are some proverbs from your culture that deal with conflict? Avoiding conflict, addressing conflict, getting justice, forgiving, reconciling, mediating?

Do the same things "spark" conflict in both cultures?

EMOTIONS that go with conflict: In Iraq, what emotions did you equate with conflict? (Shame? Guilt? Sadness? Anger? Hurt? Revenge? Bitterness? Remorse? etc...)

When you have a conflict with an American, do you feel these same emotions? Is there anything else you might add to the list? (Confusion? Frustration?...) WHY? What is the source of these new emotions?

After a conflict with an American, do you notice a behavior change in yourself?

How might I speak their "cultural language" in the interview process? Meaning, should I tell stories of conflict for them to identify different emotions, characteristics, patterns, etc.? What would be the most effect method to get the best/most truthful answers?

Do some research into Iraqi proverbs to use for dialogue.

Do some research into Iraqi proverbs as a starting point/discussion point...

Find some American proverbs dealing with this topic.... How do these make you feel?

"You can't make an omlette without breaking a few eggs."


"Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you."


"Bitter pills may have blessed effects."


"Don't make a mountain out of a molehill."


"People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."


I want to know what the expected/normal pattern of conflict resolution is for Iraqi women as it was practiced in Iraq. I want to compare it to new/surprising patterns they are encountering in their contact with Americans and I want to see if this new exposure/cultural environment has had an effect on the way they practice conflict/resolution as Iraqis now living in America.

Grandma and someone of a different religion? (If Grandma is Shia, what would a conflict look like with a Sunni?

While I am interested in conflict/resolution patterns as a whole, from small things to bigger things, there have been reported incidents of Sunni and Shia Iraqi women getting into fights - like, hair-pulling fights - over religious differences. I'm curious about this point, but I think understanding conflict/resolution as a whole could be supremely beneficial to the Iraqis now in Clarkston as well as to the Americans who work with them.

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Phenomenological approach is the best: Deeply understand the essence of a topic

I expect to find elements of honor/shame throughout the study. I expect to find struggle/increased conflict/confusion when Iraqi women encounter American individualistic ways of dealing with conflict - abruptness of confrontation, no mediator, expectation not to COVER a sin but to reveal it and "own" it, etc...

Approach: Phenomenology - Studying several individuals who have shared the same experience. What is the essence of the process of conflict/resolution as perceived and practiced by Iraqi women with Americans?

5-25 interviews recommended

A POTENTIAL 'BANNER' FOR GRACE VILLAGE COMMUNICATING THE LOVE OF CHRIST TO THE SOJOURNERS OF CLARKSTON, GA THROUGH EXPRESSIONS OF..."..."

Honour shame

In an honor shame culture, honor is a limited and prized commodity.

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It’s easy for a 21st century Westerner steeped in individualism and from a

non-honour and shame culture to miss what Gosnell describes as the “other”

centeredness of honour and shame cultures. This “other” centeredness is evident in

their stronger focus on “‘attentiveness to appearances’ as opposed to the

‘attentiveness to the inner voice’ prominent in guilt-oriented cultures.”68