Topic: Listening with Compassion
Living deeply involves the ability to deeply connect with others around the experience of suffering
Have you ever tried to tell someone about a struggle you were having and the listener jumped in way too soon with advice on how to fix it? And have you ever done this to some one?
(fixer) 你為什麼不...？你就不要理他...
(trying to emphasize) 我之前也是跟你一樣....
Why does it happen to often?
It feels like our own and it's real suffering, we want to stop it. Trying to fix pain is easier than feeling it.
The pain of another is even magnified when it triggers unresolved pain from past.
How do we maintain emotional connection with someone sharing their pain?
Stay connected with ourselves.
Be aware of own empathic pain and SC
Without trying to stop, fix, shape, distract ourselves from the conversation
Informal Practice: Compassionate Listening
Use Silver Lining stories to practice. Listen with our hearts, offering supportive presence rather than giving advice
Form group, each 5 min
Share 1. silver lining story 2. lesson learned.
Feel free to take a pass if need to close
Embodied Listening
Giving and Receiving Compassion
This is a social experiment of sorts: listening without speaking.
Listeners are invited to listen carefully and compassionately. Not allowed to speak, touch. Behave/look normally and compassionately.
Instead of formulating what to say. Listen from the neck down, feeling in your body what the speaker is saying, also listen with your ears and eyes.
Let urself be touched by what you hear.
Physically experience common humanity in our shared stories of suffering
Loving, connected presence- compassion.
Allow warm feeling to speaker to arise within you. Express with your face/eyes.
Note your posture /body language:
adopt a comfortable, open and compassionate
Listener:
Hint ❗ reaction: become distracted by own related story, feel urgent need to speak >
emotionally hooked/ overwhelmed by what you hear
Each person has 5 min to speak. Ring the bell at 5. If finished early, sit silently together with closed eyes. If not yet finished, reminder to conclude.
1 min silence between sharing. Close eyes, let what said/heard settle inside you.
Giving & Receiving Compassion:
reconnect with u/ur body, out connect with speaker.
Continue breathing compassion in and out til u feel reconnected, can listen again in an embodied
Satisfies the urge to speak coz it gives something to do, anchor than thinking what to say
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply
Let the practice be easy- just listening & breathing.
See what happen > curiosity
Site closely enough in order to speak softly.
Now decide within group the sequence to share