Ecology of Parenting
parenting means implementing a series of decisions about the socialization of your children—what you do to enable them to become responsible, contributing members of society, as well as what you do when they cry, are aggressive, lie, or do not do well in school
there is little consensus in the United States today as to what children should be like when they grow up or what you do to get them there
Another reason parenting is confusing is that it is bidirectional and dynamic—an adult's behavior toward a child is often a reaction to that child's temperament and behavior, changing with time as the child develops
parenthood is universal, parenting is highly variable among different cultures and groups within societies
political ideology theories pertaining to government
traditional societies subscribe to an aristocratic political ideology, or government by the highest-ranking class of individuals in a society;
hereditary monarchs serve as heads of state
autocracy a society in which one person has unlimited power over others
democracy a society in which those ruled have equal power with those who rule
some retain their traditional autocratic heritage.
Religious influence:Belief in a hierarchal order of status and obedience to authority were valued.
National influence:some countries, one's purpose in life was held to be to serve one's country
Ethnic influence. In high-context macrocultures, or societies, around the world, where interdependence is valued among most ethnic groups, it is assumed that children are born and raised to serve the purposes of the family.
Progressive influence. In low-context macro cultures, or societies, such as the United States, few children are brought up to believe that their principal destiny is to serve their family, their country, or God.
parents of high socioeconomic status have high incomes, engage in highly respected occupations, and are well educated
Sociologist Melvin Kohn (1977, 1995, 2006) believes different social class occupations vary in the level of control individuals have over resources, including means of production, products, and people. Such control, then, affects their values and behavior.
parents of low socioeconomic status have low incomes, hold unskilled or semiskilled jobs, and are poorly educated
parents of middle socioeconomic status have medium incomes, business or professional occupations, and a good education.
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LeVine (1988, 2003) proposed a set of universal parenting goals:
- Ensure physical health and survival.
- Develop behavioral capacities for economic self-maintenance.
- Instill behavioral capacities for maximizing cultural values, such as morality, prestige, and achievement.
collectivistic cultures emphasize interdependent relations, social responsibilities, and the well-being of the group
individualistic cultures emphasize individual fulfillment and choice.
Collectivistic and individualistic cultural/ethnic/religious orientations, as well as the specific family dynamics within them. These include differences in (1) authority roles, (2) communication, (3) display of emotion, (4) discipline/guidance of children, and (5) skills emphasized
Authority Role
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Social roles are ascribed based on hierarchy (age and status respected).
Family structure is patriarchal, influenced by principles of order regarding roles and behavior.
Particularism is valued (individuals treated differently according to rank, gender, and/or situation); authority figures have more rights and privileges, as well as having more obligations and responsibilities to protect and care for others; mothers, grandparents, teachers each do certain things.
Relationships
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Harmony is valued.
Family members place family needs above individual needs.
Children show obedience and loyalty to parents and are expected to care for elderly parents.
People believe that a cooperative social network extends from the mother and father union to the extended family of relatives and ultimately to the community; children are socialized by the extended, as well as the nuclear, family; old people traditionally pass on the cultural heritage to the younger ones; children are taught to respect elders (age is a “badge of honor”—if you have grown old, you have done the right things).
Communication
Communication tends to be more indirect than direct—conversations might include inquiries about family members, health, or other matters seemingly unrelated to the purpose of the communication (such inquiries are necessary for assessing choice of language to be used and degree of familiarity with which certain topics can be discussed) (Stewart & Bennett, 1991).
Nonverbal, more than verbal, communication (body language, gestures, touch, facial expression, eye contact) is used.
Displays of Emotion
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Some groups display emotions inwardly and others display them outwardly.
Inward emotions are feelings rarely shown publicly; they can be expressed through a change in personal distance (stepping backward while engaged in a loud conversation), shunning (ignoring and avoiding a friend for boasting), or deviations in performing routines (knowing your wife is angry because she filled your teacup only halfway with lukewarm tea).
Outward emotions are expressed through facial expressions, sound, body movement (however, facial expressions don't always reveal inner emotions).
Discipline/Guidance
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Age is equated with knowledge—children are not asked their desires, nor are they expected to communicate their opinions to older people; they are expected to be guided by adult wisdom.
Children obey and imitate; they learn by doing—even when children play, an adult or older sibling is nearby to guide them as needed (Rogoff, 2003).
A sense of obligation to parents is fostered by dependency and physical closeness between parents and child, which is continually reinforced as children grow older.
The use of shame and guilt is enabled by the child's dependency on the mother; she controls the child's behavior by appealing to the child's sense of duty when the child deviates from her expectations.
The child also learns related socialized behaviors to avoid shame and save face—reluctance to admit lack of understanding, hesitation to ask questions, take initiative, or do something a new way, and avoidance of confrontation or disagreement (a Japanese proverb says: “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down”).
skill Emphases
Skills believed important for children to learn to get along in the group, as well as to become contributing adults, are brotherhood, sharing, spirituality, and personal integrity.
Modesty and moderation are stressed (one doesn't talk for the sake of talking; one doesn't boast when one achieves; and one doesn't show emotions).
Children are expected to do what they are capable of doing for their age, not to be perfect—the goal is to improve on past performance (failure is not a concept).
Authority Role
♦ Achieved authority is valued—occurs through hard work (achievement is respected and admired).
♦ Universalism is valued (rules are the same for everyone).
Relationships
♦ Relationships are compartmentalized (family, friends, school, work).
♦ Believe that behavior is governed by “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” rather than by ascribed rights and obligations.
♦ A norm is informality; impermanence is common.
♦ Decisions are made democratically (equal rights and majority rule).
Communication
♦ Communication can be direct and independent of context (such as in a memorandum), or indirect and dependent on context (such as in a face-to-face meeting).
Marital quality contributes to children's development in that the parents form a coparenting alliance, cooperating with and supporting each other
Parenting style encompasses the emotional climate in which child-rearing behaviors are expressed
prosocial behavior behavior that benefits other people, such as altruism, sharing, and cooperation
competence refers to a pattern of effective adaptation to one's environment; it involves behavior that is socially responsible, independent, friendly, cooperative, dominant, and achievement-oriented
attachment is an outcome of sensitive, responsive caregiving. It provides the basis for socialization because infants who are securely attached are willing to comply with parental standards.
Parenting styles
permissive parent attempts to behave in a nonpunitive, acceptable, and affirmative manner toward the child's impulses, desires, and actions
authoritarian parent attempts to shape, control, and evaluate the behavior and attitudes of the child in accordance with a set standard of conduct, usually an absolute standard, theologically motivated and formulated by a higher authority.
authoritative parent attempts to direct the child's activities but in a rational, issue-oriented manner. They encourage verbal give-and-take and share with the child the reasoning behind policies. They value both expressive and instrumental attributes, both autonomous self-will and disciplined conformity.
Attachment
Secure attachment (secure). The infant actively explores the environment in the mother's presence, is upset when she leaves, and seeks contact when she returns
- Resistant attachment (insecure). The infant stays close to the mother, doesn't explore, becomes upset when the mother leaves, is wary of strangers, and resists physical contact with the mother when she returns.
Avoidant attachment (insecure). The infant shows little distress when the mother leaves, may ignore or avoid the stranger, and ignores the mother when she returns.
Disorganized/disoriented attachment (insecure). The infant is very upset by the strange situation and appears confused about whether to approach or avoid the stranger; when the mother returns, the infant may seek contact and then withdraw
maltreatment intentional harm to or endangerment of a child
abuse maltreatment that includes physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological or emotional abuse
neglect maltreatment involving abandonment, lack of supervision, improper feeding, lack of adequate medical or dental care, inappropriate dress, uncleanliness, and lack of safety