In various studies (Amato, 2000; Amato, 2010; Hetherington & Clingempeel, 1992; Lansford, 2009), young children of divorce were found to be more dependent, aggressive, whiny, demanding, unaffectionate, and disobedient than children from married families. They feared abandonment, loss of love, and bodily harm. The behavior and fears expressed were due, in part, to the parents' preoccupation with their own needs, as well as to the ensuing role conflicts.
Adolescents, unlike younger children, feel little sense of blame for the separation of their parents, but they feel resentment. They are often pawns in each parent's bid for loyalty: “She tells me terrible things about my dad; when I'm with him, he tells me terrible things about her.” They are also still burdened by painful memories of the divorce 25 years later (Wallerstein, Lewis, & Blakeslee, 2001) and especially if one or both parents remarried (Ahrons, 2007).
Child's Gender and Divorce Effects
Gender influences the impact of divorce, with research showing that boys are harder hit. Two years after the divorce, many boys have trouble concentrating, do poorly on intelligence tests, and have difficulty with math. Also, they interact aggressively with their mothers, their teachers, and boys their own age. Monitoring of boys was lower in divorced, non-remarried households, and the boys engaged in more antisocial behavior
Child's Emotional Support and Divorce Effects
Although divorce is upsetting to everyone involved, it is probably worse for a child to live in an embattled household. For parents, divorce is a very stressful time, and feelings of depression, loss of self-esteem, and helplessness interfere with parenting abilities. Parents must find support outside the family to bolster their confidence in themselves and their ability to parent. They must tell the child that even though they are divorcing each other, they are not divorcing the child.
Child's Marriage Role Models and Divorce Effects
A serious long-range effect of divorce is the removal of marriage role models. Unrealistic expectations of future mates occur. Children may grow up idealizing the absent parent. Ideals are wishes for perfection; they are untempered by reality.
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