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Care and Counseling Skills for Marital Care. Gottman book on 7 Principles …
Care and Counseling Skills for Marital Care. Gottman book on 7 Principles
Principle 4: Let your Partner Influence You Ch7
Men struggle with this more than women p117
men revert to the "four horsemen" which escalates the issue more.
Accepting influence is loving and esteeming your spouse p118
it strengthens friendship p121
"emotionally intelligent husband...know how to honor and convey his respect for her" p124.
Questionnaire and exercises p128-136
Two Types of Conflicts (Ch 8)
Solvable Problems
It's solvable, but doesn't mean it will get solved p142
5 ways to handle disagreement p142, but more details in ch9
Perpetual Problems
"majority of marital conflicts" 69% (p138)
every relationship will have this type, you just have to choose the one that you can cope with (139)
must keep talking about it and not let it overwhelm the marriage (139)
unstable marriages go into gridlock (140)
signs of gridlock p141 and ways to get out from principle 6
must be able to tell the difference so you know how to deal with the conflict. p142-148
Questionnaire on assessing the conflict p148-156
Keys to managing conflict (Ch. 8)
negative emotions are important p157
no one is right p157
acceptance is crucial p157
Focus on Fondness and Admiration from ch5 p158
Bitterness is a heavy burden - must forgive p159