Please enable JavaScript.

Coggle requires JavaScript to display documents.

Emotional Landscape - Coggle Diagram

- - - - tears and stress hormones come out of our eyes and nose
      - diaphragms contract rhythmically
      - our breathing changes
      - we make sounds
      - we are upset
      - our body shakes
      - blood rushes to our face
      - "Crying is not sadness. Crying is sadness leaving the body"
    - - often giving us close physical contact
      - paying attention to us
      - with someone close by
      - warm and relaxed
        (not worried about us)
  - - - can become a powerful and deadly addiction
      - don’t let the person through
        their fantasy over and over again
      - a way of self-soothing:
        it’s a fantasy of escaping the pain of daily life
      - Get them professional help
      - explain the addictive quality of suicidal fantasies
      - assist them in finding meaningful and realistic strategies
        to get through their current situation,
        and new places to direct their attention,
        that grow their capacity to see a way forward
        through tough times
    - - Seen as "not Smart"
        “If you had any brains, you wouldn’t be working here”
      - Lack of respect from mainstream culture
      - sets farmers up to look at other people as experts
      - The current mainstream farming system and extractive paradigm relies on, and plays on, on this insecurity.
      - In an extractive economy, people are replaceable
    - - failing rural economies
      - the impact of farming chemicals on neurophysiology
      - pressure of keeping the family farm
      - cultural messages about farming
      - rural isolation
      - impossible debt situations
    - - a place they had to sell,
        a family member or friend or spouse,
        a beloved animal,
        or even a job
      - The most useful question that will often bring much needed release of tears, without dragging them into discouragement or fear
        
        “What did you love about _ (the person, place, etc.)?”
        
        You will learn a lot about the client through that question,
        and they will learn a lot about themselves.
        
        The need to grieve is real
        
        We can help by being relaxed and welcoming around the grieving process.
        
        You can become that way by fully grieving your own losses
  - - - Start with small group you would feel comfortable sharing worries & thoughts with. People you think you might enjoy trading listening time with
      - Decide on amount of time you're going to spend on a certain prompt.
        Divide the time event between participants and set a timer.
      - When group gets strong enough, you will start to feel you have extra free attention you can offer to your friends and family and community.
        If you offer too much, you will start to feel depleted.
        So what do you do?
        You go back to your group, and trade some more time.
        Do that till you feel you have some extra attention again
      - www.cocounseling.org
    - - If feelings come up, be relaxed and let them cry, laugh, etc
      - As you listen to them, be mindful of your own attitude:
        steer your attitude back toward respect, delight, deep curiosity, and approval when it wavers toward something else
      - The most useful phrase/question is often:
        “Tell me more.” or “Tell me more about...”
      - listen for where the other person is already functioning well,
        where their essential humanity is showing.
        If you speak, speak to that part, not to the patterns
      - Leave space, be comfortable with "the pause"
        When people pause, don’t jump in.
        Many people think during their pauses, and say even more interesting things after they have had a chance to think for a while
      - If distraught or dissociating,
        ground them by directing their attention to noticing what’s around them
        ask them to pay attention to some neutral
        or pleasant sensations in their body, pleasant memories
        or the useful strategies/resources they have you about
      - Listen. No need to say much. Keep listening.
        You will hear a combination of flexible vital aliveness, and patterns and automatic repetitive stories that are covering that over,
        and intertwining with it sometimes in confusing ways
      - humanize the experience Stay away from diagnosis talk
        “Sometimes I get a little discouraged”
        instead of “I’m depressed”
        Or “Sometimes I get a little scared”
        for “I’m suffering from anxiety.”
      - Remind yourself that this particular person,
        like everyone, is doing the best they possibly can,
        with the unique history and resources they have available to them
      - Begin and end the session with some questions about
        what is going well in their lives, even if it is something small
      - Find out what works for them when they are stressed.
        Who are their best friends and resource people?
        What has been useful to keep them centered and grounded physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
        (Walks? Runs? Hunting? Playing with their dog? Being around grandchildren? Music? Mindfulness exercises? Prayer?)
        When things get hard, ask them about those things
      - Set a timer,
        person won’t worry that they are “taking up too much of your time” and neither will you.
        you won’t have to interrupt them to tell them the session is over.
        Particularly helpful when taking turns or trading listening time with another person
    - - Asking questions about things YOU are interested in
        This usually redirects the conversation away from where they were going or interrupts their flow of thoughts
        Stick to their story and get them to fell their feelings
      - Trying to stop the person from crying
      - Interpreting their feelings or story into your own diagnostic or theoretical language
      - Being overly sympathetic/emotional or dramatic in your response
        to the point where they feel like they need to take care of you.
        “Oh my GOD! That’s TERRIBLE!”
      - Jumping in with your own version of the story and taking over the conversation
      - Giving unsolicited advice