Chapter 12: Family Structures & Fairness
Textbook Quotes/Content
When adoption is transracial
"Who Takes Care of You at Home?" Activity
Least Familiar Structure for me
Other Family Structures
Target Question: "What do you see the adults are doing to take care of the children?"
My input great alternative than tradition Mother's & Father's Day. More diversity b/c represent all kinds of family structure
Books: "Mama, Do You Love Me?", "Dear Child", "The Ring Bearer"
Co-custody families
Multigenerational families
Conditionally separated
Migrant Families
Important to know who is responsible for child on which days
Due to employment, military service, incarnation, hospitalization, or other reasons. Still remain significant to the family
"Knowing the structure of a family does not in itself reveal anything about how well that family functions "
Message to give to children “We all have families. Our families love and take care of us. Our families have different people in them.”
Even appear to be homogeneous, important that children learn that many different kinds of families exist and that they can like their own family and at same time be open to and supportive of other’s families”
Could be part of it, but more to it
“Is that really your mother (father)?”, “Is that child yours?”
Can’t imagine what it would be like to be hit with these questions often
Reminded me of an experience my sister had when working. She was ringing about a white family who has a black daughter. My sister made a comment about their daughter and the couple got very happy.
Small comments make a big effort
Reinforce the message their family is a real family that chooses them, loves them, and cares for them.
Transnational Families
Blended & Extended Family
More respectful to use term “family” than “parent”
Move back &forth two counties. Learn the words the children use for their various family members in each country
In regard to children
Children take their own family structure for granted, their curiosity often takes the form of wanting to know why another child’s family is not like their own
Use inclusionary statements
My experience. Warning! I get very personal
I grew up with a single mother. Even when my mom remarried, never considered him my father. To me, that titled is empty. As a child, only time it affected me is Father's Day but my teachers always told me "do it for your mom". When my peers found out, maybe it is the way I say it so casually, they just accept it.
It was in middle school when it hit me. Poor middle school Jackie, I just want to hug her. I realized the experiences I have missed out and would never get to experience because I didn't have a father. At night, I play scenarios and cry myself asleep for some nights. I remember holding my sobs when I was in public and saw little girls with their father doing something cute and I use to think " I want that. But I never going to have that".
No matter what, I would always be thankful for a mother who love, care, listen, trust, and respect me. My mom is honestly my best friend, #1 supporter, therapist, and a person I would always have deep respect for. Having a child of my own is not even on my mind right now. However I vow I would only have children with a man who would want to be a dad. From seeing my family experiences, I do believe a couple needs to be together long enough that the "falling in love, all I see is rainbows and sunshine" is gone to see if they actually enjoy each other company before bringing a tiny human into the world.