Just as we are more likely to repeat an experience when the ending is satisfying, we are also more likely to avoid an experience when the ending is painful.

Pain is an effective teacher. If a failure is painful, it
gets fixed.

The threat of a bad review forces a plumber to be good at his job.

The possibility of a customer never returning makes restaurants create good food.

The cost of cutting the wrong blood vessel makes a surgeon master human anatomy and cut carefully

If you want to prevent bad habits and eliminate unhealthy behaviors, then adding an instant cost to the action is a great way to reduce their odds

We repeat bad habits because they serve us in some way, and that makes them hard to abandon

The best way I know to overcome this predicament is to increase the speed of the punishment associated with the behavior.

Laws and regulations are an example of how government can change our habits by creating a social contract

, we collectively agree to abide by certain rules and then enforce them as a group.

Even if you don’t want to create a full-blown habit contract, simply having an accountability partner is useful

You are less likely to procrastinate or give up because there is an immediate cost

you are not only failing to uphold your promises to yourself, but also failing to uphold your promises to others

We are always trying to present our best selves to the world

This is precisely why getting an accountability partner or signing a habit contract can work so well.

We are less likely to repeat a bad habit if it is painful or unsatisfying.

An accountability partner can create an immediate cost to inaction. We care deeply about what others think of us, and we do not want others to have a lesser opinion of us.

A habit contract can be used to add a social cost to any behavior. It makes the costs of violating your promises public and painful.

Knowing that someone else is watching you can be a powerful motivator.

Embracing this strategy requires the acceptance of the simple truth that people are born with different abilities

Genes cannot be easily changed, which means they provide a powerful advantage in favorable circumstances and a serious disadvantage in unfavorable circumstances.

This is true not just for physical characteristics but for mental ones as well

Your genes are operating beneath the surface of every habit. Indeed, beneath the surface of every behavior

Conscientiousness: organized and efficient to easygoing and spontaneous.

outgoing and energetic to solitary and reserved
(you likely know them as extroverts vs. introverts).

Agreeableness: friendly and compassionate to challenging and detached.

Neuroticism: anxious and sensitive to confident, calm, and stable.

People who are high in agreeableness are kind, considerate, and warm. They also tend to have higher natural oxytocin levels, a hormone that plays an important role in social bonding, increases feelings of trust, and can act as a natural antidepressant

Learning to play a game where the odds are in your favor is critical for maintaining motivation and feeling successful

People who are talented in a particular area tend to be more competent at that task and are then praised for doing a good job

Pick the right habit and progress is easy. Pick the wrong habit and life is a struggle.

When a habit is easy, you are more likely to be successful. When you are successful, you are more likely to feel satisfied

In the beginning of a new activity, there should be a period of exploration

The optimal approach also depends on how much time you have.

As you explore different options, there are a series of questions you can ask yourself to continually narrow in on the habits and areas that will be most satisfying to you