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THE PRIVILEGE OF COMING OUT: RACE, CLASS, AND LESBIANS' MOTHERING…
THE PRIVILEGE OF COMING OUT: RACE, CLASS, AND LESBIANS' MOTHERING DECISIONS
Coming out as Lesbian Mothers
Colored (Black/ Hispanic)
Forced to have risky conversations
Family might call them homophobic slurs and disapprove of this decision
Families might be okay with one being lesbian, but a lesbian being a mother/ having a child is a very taboo topic still
Reactions were usually the opposite of happy and excited, angry and confused, maybe even disgusted
Risked loosing their support networks
White
Found it difficult to tell families
Families never posed any real barrier
Often felt neutral about the decision after it has been made
Reactions were usually positive
Strategy used to increase in support networks
Compulsory heterosexism and homophobia
Whites
"With the times"
More open to newer ideas
Willing to give it a chance and try to understand it
More comfortable with the whole idea of their daughter being a lesbian
Colored (Black/ Hispanic)
Used to "old times" and don't really understand why someone would be a lesbian
Has this idea where a women should be with a man
Many parents would disown their children
Would believe anything the church says in most cases
Coming out as Lesbian to family and community
Whites
Willing to risk their family relationships regardless of family class
Middle Class
Positive experiences in coming out to family
Family usually supported their decisions
Working Class
Coming out at worst severed relationships
Coming out at best, relationships remained neutral
Colored (Black/Hispanic)
Family/ community= provide support and anxiety
Fear to lose the support of their family
Unwilling to jeopardize the support and does "don't ask, don't tell" scenario
Family and community were so close that they risked loosing everything if they came out and were not accepted
Many were scared of how the church would reacts, and those thoughts would be key factors in them coming out or not
Deciding to opt out from becoming a mother
scared that their child will be excluded for who their parents sexuality
don't want their children to be embarrassed
Want help from their family but know they won't receive any
May take response of family into consideration when thinking about adopting/having a baby