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The Power of Self confidence - Brian Tracy - Coggle Diagram

- - - - a system for controlling myself
- - - - What would you do differently if you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any undertaking? What if some great force could endow you with the power to achieve any goal that you could set for yourself? To put it another way, what if you were completely unafraid of anyone or anything and you felt completely free to act, in any area, in your own best interests? The fact is that, if you developed the quality of unshakable self-confidence, your whole world would be different.
  - - - They have specific causes, and when we repeat the causes, we get the same effects, no matter who we are. This is just the way the world works.
- - - - The starting point of self confidence is to determine your most important values and priorities then organize your life around those values
    - - companies that had a very clear written values in which everyone in the company subscribed earned an average of 700% more profit than those without a written code of values
      - The economic and personal results of individuals and corporations with clear values always tend to be far superior to those of companies and individuals whose values are vague or unclear.
    - - it is up to you to determine your personal values - what you will stand for and what you will not stand for
      - think them through and write them down
      - think of a person that you admire which of their values would you aspire to embody
    - - The word integrity, according to the dictionary, means “perfect, undivided, complete, unified, a single whole, without blemish or fault.” It’s a fine value to choose.
      - integrity is more than a value. It is the one quality of mind that assures or guarantees all the other values that you select.
    - - When you select a value, if it’s to be one of your values at all, it becomes inviolable. Either it is a fixed value and you live every part of your life consistent with it, or it is not one of your values. You cannot have a value when it is convenient and put it aside when it’s not convenient. You cannot have a little bit of integrity: It must be all or nothing.
      - The act of selecting your values is also the act of clearly stating to yourself, and sometimes to others, exactly how you will live your life from this moment forward. Once you have selected a value, and you have declared it to be one of your unifying principles, you are, in effect, saying that this is something on which you will never compromise. And your level of adherence to the values you have personally selected is the real measure of your character, your true quality as a human being.
      - Unshakable self-confidence comes from unshakable commitment to your values. When, deep down inside yourself you know that you will never violate your highest principles, you experience a deep sense of personal power that enables you to deal openly and honestly and with complete self-confidence in almost every human situation.
      - If you are having trouble coming up with your values -write out your obituary as if you wish it were
    - - organize your values by priority eg. 1 family, 2 health, 3 work
      - when push comes to shove, I will always favor the higher-order value over the lower-order value.
      - Selecting your values and then putting them in order of importance actually creates a mental and emotional structure that enables you to make better choices and decisions in every area of your life.
      - If your family comes before your health or your work, you would always sacrifice your health or your work for the well-being of your family.
    - - Living in truth means that you never live a lie. It means that you never compromise your integrity for the sake of a job, or money, or a relationship. It means that you always do and say what you know to be right and true, no matter what the short-term cost or benefit.
      - Living in truth means that you do not pretend or practice self-delusion. You face life, your relationships, and your circumstances, exactly as they are, not as you wish they would be. Living in truth means that you never stay in a situation that makes you unhappy or which you feel for any reason is wrong for you.
    - - Living in truth means that you set peace of mind as your highest goal and as your core organizing principle. You select all your other goals to be consistent with it. You never compromise your peace of mind for anyone or anything else.
      - can only be achieved by doing and saying things that feel right for you
      - you change the parts of your life that does not give you piece of mind
      - you can only feel your best by insisting that everything you do allows you to live in peace
    - - your true values are only expressed in your actions, in what you do.
      - You can tell what you truly believe by observing what you do in any situation in which you have to make a choice. Especially when you are under stress, and pulled in two directions at once, with opposing demands or responsibilities, this is when your true values are revealed.
      - The action that you take in any given situation will tell you which of your values is uppermost or whether you have any values at all. It is not what you say, hope, wish, or intend, but only what you do that counts. Your choices of the actions you take tell you unerringly who you really are.
      - Whenever you act consistent with a higher value, you always feel terrific about yourself, and your self-confidence soars. However, whenever you compromise your values for any reason, you feel uncomfortable, inferior, guilty, and your self-confidence plummets.
  - - - Once you have persisted through great adversity, you are always capable of persisting through lesser difficulties.
      - Once you have acted courageously in a major confrontation, you are always able to act courageously in the face of lesser confrontations.
      - When you behave honestly when there are large amounts at stake, you are always able, later on, to behave
        honestly when you are dealing with lesser amounts.
- - - - Clarity: Decide exactly what it is you want to accomplish and exactly the kind of person you wish to become.
      - Conviction: Develop the unshakable belief that you can do anything that you can put your mind to.
      - Commitment: Resolve to do whatever is necessary; develop the willingness to pay the price, in advance, for any success you desire.
      - Consistency: Resolve to work on your goals every day, morning, noon, and night, until they are accomplished.
  - - - The reason goals are so important in the development of self-confidence is because the very act of setting a major goal for your life activates all the mental laws in your favor.
      - Goals give you a sense of power, purpose, and focus.
      - Your ability to set goals and to make plans for their accomplishment is the “master skill” of success, without which very little is possible. The habit of regular goal-setting and goal-achieving is probably more important than any other skill you could ever learn.
    - - It is fear that holds us back more than any other factor. Fear, of all kinds, works on us unconsciously to undermine and sabotage our best intentions and our greatest hopes.
    - - the greatest enemy of human achievement is the comfort zone.
      - Resistance to change
        
        The natural tendency, once a person gets into a comfort zone, is to resist change of any kind, even beneficial change.
        
        Eventually, the comfort zone leads through complacency and boredom to frustration and unhappiness.
    - - Great men and women are those who absolutely believe that they are put on this earth to do something wonderful with their lives.
      - They have a vision of something greater or better than their current circumstances. Personal greatness means having a sense of destiny and a conviction that your thoughts and your imagination are the only real limits to your possibilities.
      - There are powers inside of you, which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everything you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.”
    - - The starting point of setting goals is for you to throw off all mental limitations and let your mind roam freely across the entire universe of possibilities.
      - Dream big dreams
      - First, make up a dream list.
        
        imagine that you have no limitations of time, money, knowledge, contacts, experience, or education. Imagine that anything that you can write down is possible for you.
        
        Remember, anything that you can clearly define and crystallize on paper is probably possible, if you want it long enough and hard enough and are willing to make whatever efforts and sacrifices are necessary.
        
        There are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic timelines.
        
        The very act of writing down big, challenging goals causes three things to happen. First, your self-concept improves and your self-confidence goes up immediately. The act of setting goals requires self-confidence and simultaneously builds self-confidence. Having the courage to write down what you really want improves your self-image and raises your self-esteem. The action itself generates a feeling of greater personal power and ability.
      - Second tap into your mental and emotional powers.
        
        Goal-setting actually gives you a burst of physical and mental energy.
        
        “Feeling listless? Make a list!” It’s true. It’s like stepping on the accelerator of your own mental and physical potential. And if you do it every day, the results can be amazing.
      - Third commit it to paper
        
        The very fact that you have committed a goal to paper dramatically increases the likelihood that you will achieve that goal.
        
        Your mind is structured in such a way that you cannot write down a goal clearly on paper (not on a computer screen!) without simultaneously having the ability to somehow attain it. The most important question is: “How badly do you want it?”
    - - Mental exercises for setting goals
        
        Imagine that you have just won a million dollars cash, and that you can do or have anything you want with the money. What would you do first? Where would you go? What changes would you make in your life? If you had complete financial freedom, what would you do differently from what you are doing now?
        
        Describe your ideal lifestyle. Imagine that you could live your ideal of the perfect life. What part of the country would you choose to live in? What kind of a company would you choose to work for or to start and run as your own? What kind of a home and car would you want? How would you like to spend your time and live your life? What kind of relationships would you want?
        
        Ask yourself what you would do if you learned today that you only had six months to live. If you had no limitations, how would you spend your last six months on earth? This is another way of asking, “What is really important to you?” Who would you want to spend time with? What would you want to accomplish? What would you like to leave behind? In other words, what do you truly value? What are the things that really give meaning and purpose to your life?
        
        List all the worries or problems in your life and write out a goal that is the perfect solution to each of those difficulties. If money is a concern, write out a goal that clearly defines how much you want to earn, how much you want to accumulate, and what you want to achieve financially over the next three to five years.
        
        Think about your family and your relationships. Describe the perfect situation between you and the important people in your life, and then make out a series of goals to achieve that situation.
        
        Look at your health. Describe what perfect health and physical fitness means to you, and then make out a plan to achieve that level of fitness.
        
        Define the kind of person that you would most like to become, both personally and professionally. Then, work out a plan of personal and professional development that will enable you to learn and grow and become the kind of person you most admire and would most like to be. Remember, as Goethe said, “Before you can have something, you must first be something.”
      - Categorize your goals
        
        Once you have written out your goals, divide them into the different areas of your life that are important. There are basically six divisions that most people use, but you can have more or fewer.
        
        Financial and material goals.
        
        Family and personal goals.
        
        Self-improvement and educational goals.
        
        Spiritual goals.
        
        Health and fitness goals.
        
        Social and community goals.
        
        To perform at your very best, your life must be in balance. This means that you need to have goals in each area so that you are moving progressively forward on something that is important to you all the time.
      - Organize your goals
        
        The next step, once you have all your goals in writing, is to organize them in order of priority.
        
        Select the goals that are more important than others and put them at the top of each list. Then, select the goals that are second and third and fourth, and so on.
        
        Finally, and perhaps the most important of all in goal setting, is for you to select the one goal out of all the goals that is more important than any other.
        
        This is the key to your success. The mental discipline to set your goals and to sort them out, and to decide on your chief aim or your major definite purpose, is the starting point of individual greatness.
        
        This major definite purpose is the one goal, the accomplishment of which will lead to the attainment of many of your other goals. This goal becomes the central focus for all your other goals and activities.
      - Focus and concentrate
        
        This intense focus on one goal is not easy, but it is all-important.
        
        Single-minded concentration in the direction of your dreams will intensify your desires and increase your emotional drive toward your goal. This intensity of concentration will activate the law of attraction and begin to attract people and opportunities into your life to help you to achieve your goal.
        
        The more you think about your goal, the more it will come to dominate and direct your life. The more you think about it, the more rapidly you will move toward it and it will move toward you.
      - Make it measurable and bound by time
        
        Your major goal must be measurable. It’s a basic rule that “what gets measured, gets done.” Make it clear and quantitative and objective, and, if necessary, break it down into smaller parts that you can work on, one at a time.
        
        Your major goal must also be clearly bound by time. Set a deadline on it. Select a realistic but challenging date for its completion and write it down.
        
        If it’s a long-term goal, such as two or three years, break it down into smaller parts, with minor goals or benchmarks, every 30 to 60 days.
        
        Create a structure of rewards that you will give yourself on the attainment of each part of your goal, and on the attainment of your entire goal. For maximum motivation and high achievement, you need to tie each goal to a reward and each part of the goal to a smaller reward.
      - Make your plans
        
        Once you have determined your major and minor goals, you construct your plans by making detailed lists of everything that you will have to do to achieve each goal, and then organizing the lists by time and priority.
        
        What will you do first, what will you do second? What is more important? What is less important? Make each activity measurable and put a deadline on it.
        
        Select the very first thing that comes to your mind to do, and get started.
      - Goal technique
        
        It is simply this: get yourself a spiral notebook, the kind used in school for taking notes. Begin each day by sitting down with this notebook and writing out your main goals in the present tense, as though they were already a reality.
        
        Use strong, definite words like, “I earn,” “I achieve,” or “I am.” You can write other things in this notebook if you like, but the most important action is that you take five minutes each day to write and rewrite your major goals, without referring back to what you wrote yesterday.
        
        Hand writing your goals is called a “psychoneuromotor activity.” Each time you write out your goals, you drive them deeper into your subconscious mind. You increase the intensity of your desire and the depth of your belief.
        
        this makes your goals become clearer and stronger
- - - - First, ask yourself these questions:
        
        What talents, skills, and abilities do you have that seem to be natural to you?
        
        What have you been able to do easily and well in the past that seems to be difficult for other people?
        
        What subjects in school and what parts of your work have you naturally gravitated toward?
        
        What did you most enjoy doing between the ages of 7 and 14? (Ask your mother!) This is often a predictor of what you should be doing as an adult.
        
        What parts of your work do you love to do and seem to do well?
        
        What work or activities give you a natural high? They give you energy, fill you with enthusiasm, and you lose track of time when you are doing them.
  - - - the amount of money you would like to earn
      - the kind of work you would like to do
      - the size and character you would like ot work for
      - the type of people you would like ot work with
      - the kind of customers you wuoldlike to sell to
      - the level of responsibility or position you would like to attain
  - - - all skills are learnable, if you study and learn