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Internalized Sense Of Self, image - Coggle Diagram

- - - - With those that I am close with I convey (and often display) the fact that I am an emotional person and openly embrace the fact. I form deep connections with others and care about both them and myself. Often is externalized by crying
    - - Confidence
        
        Although I have always considered myself to be confident, I have attempted in recent years to overcome my major insecurities through the development and externalization of my confident self.
      - Humor
        
        Development
        
        As my confidence has developed and my major insecurities faded my need to use humor as a coping mechanism waned as well, eventually developing into a method of connection and enjoyment
        
        I have always utilized my sense of humor to mask my insecurities, often making light of situations that in reality do emotionally impact me
  - - - Snapchat
        
        Has significantly eased and normalized rapid, even immediate, communication between me and my acquaintances
        
        Can promote a sense of isolation upon viewing the activities and lives of others
        
        Has introduced forms of "social mind games" in regard to how/when/if messages are opened or responded to, as all parties can view the associated timestamps
      - Promote a curated, false identity of its users, tailored specifically to their liking to externalize their desired identity.
    - - Increased presence of digital devices has decreased physical and intimate interaction
      - Digital technology has rendered me dependent on external devices
      - Emerging technologies such as VR have expanded the extent of human interaction and has inspired me in regard to the field in which I intend to employ
    - - Prevalence of digital technology will allow me to possess a viable
        job in the field of Computer Science
      - I have maintained a passion for the field for nearly a decade
      - I have always known exactly what I wanted to do when I exited college
      - I thoroughly enjoy programming
        
        Projects
        
        Autoroll
        
        "Award-winning Bluetooth-enabled hardware product which interfaced with both a custom mobile application and a motion detecting control interface to perform real-world automations."
        
        PayTracker
        
        "Comprehensive personal payment tracking solution utilizing a custom graphical interface as well as predictive algorithms and customization with a proprietary database system."
        
        Resume
        
        The projects listed below (as well as others) were all created solely for fun, however even years later they proved comprehensive enough to be reference within my resume. These projects were of specific interest to companies that I interviewed with, demonstrating the crossing of my enjoyment of programming and its importance in the real world
        
        MaskScreamer
        
        "Concept software utilizing a facial detection algorithm and model along with an audio API to incentivize mask-wearing within a given space."
        
        OCR System
        
        "OCR software that increased supported PC game immersion by monitoring relevant fields and triggering a custom physical feedback system via Bluetooth to reflect in-game performance."
        
        Vending Machine Simulator
        
        Phone app I published when i was 13 that possesses a six-figure download count. It proved to be my first successful project and was exactly the "high" I needed to be sold on the viability of the field for life
- - - - I have always been incredibly skinny and completely unable to put on weight
        
        Although it took many years, I eventually came to accept this to simply be a part of me and although I don't prefer it, I now am comfortable accommodating it
  - - - While longboarding I have seriously injured myself twice now, scarring myself enough to require medicine one of the times. While this did not convince me to stop, it has associated a necessary and justified sense of fear with the activity
    - - I endured a difficult knee injury during my sophomore cross country season, benching me for the coming track season in a time when I was proving myself as a strong candidate for team captain in the coming year
- - - - I contributed hundreds of hours to my school in the form of volunteerism, split across numerous activity types
    - - School News Editor-In-Chief
      - Robotics President
      - Robotics Captain
      - Cross Country Junior Captain
      - Cross Country Head Captain
      - AP Scholar Media Head
    - - Our team qualified for the prestigious states competition twice out of three attempts
      - Leadership
        
        I served as captain of my team for two of my three years
        
        I served as interim president, and then full-time president of the entire club during my junior and senior years
        
        I taught students how to program to the conformities of the respective robotics languages
      - We were an award-winning team
    - - Future Business Leaders of America
        
        Won first place in the region in the programming competition
      - National Honor Society
      - National Technical Honor Society
      - Mathematics Honor Society
      - AP Scholars
    - - Exceeded nearly every one of my established goals (5K Goal: 18:00, Actual: 17:40; Mile Goal: 5:00, Actual: 4:57)
      - Scored points for our team in District Qualifiers, earning us a place in the State Championship
  - - - Runnin in college gives me both goals to set and achieve outside of the educational space as well as an effective method of exercise and stress alleviation
      - Cross county forms intense bonds between its participants as a result of the difficulty of the sport
    - - As an elected department ambassador, I work on a team of eight to establish both outreach and inreach programs to connect existing and prospective students with the program and its faculty through engaging events and activities
    - - College has been one of the first scenarios in which I have been able to utilize my computer science experience, doing so to interview for - and eventually land - a software engineering internship
    - - Although I was not raised in a Christian household, I joined one of the school's fellowship programs.
      - The program possesses a strongly-bonded group of participants with similar values to my own
      - I am able to connect more with my non-immediate Christian family members
  - - - Longboarding has served as one of my greatest relaxation methods, nearly always alleviating whatever may be stressors may be present within my mind
    - - Programming is one of the activities which I take the most enjoyment in, and as a result I often will conceptualize and execute projects over the course of hours, days, or even months simply for fun
    - - Getting physical activity in keeps both my physical shape and mental health in shape and over nearly a decade of experience I have found frisbee one of the most enjoyable methods of such
- - - - I rarely take regular-level courses, instead option for AP or higher grade-level classes
  - - - Lifeguard ($8.50/hr)
        
        Lifeguard (different pool) ($10/hr)
        
        Gate guard ($8/hr)
        
        Best Buy ($15/hr)
        
        Lifeguard ($15/hr)
        
        Software Engineering Intern ($32/hr)
  - - - Military
        
        I have lived in numerous states, countries, and continents, moving, approximately, every two year's to restation alongside my father
        
        I have been engrossed in and engaged with the culture of the different locations in which I have lived
        
        I have adapted to the vastly different geographies
        
        I have had to adopt new languages to overcome the respective barrier
        
        My father has deployed to both peaceful nations and active warzones numerous times for weeks, months, and sometimes nearly years, of my life
        
        I have had to adopt a sense of independence, maturity, and autonomy earlier than most would
      - I have had to bear the emotional weight of losing two of my relatives. Both were my first true experiences with loss and still maintain an impact on me today
      - My family is incredibly close and functions as a unit
        
        I possess and incredible system of love and support
      - Siblings
        
        Matthew (Older)
        
        My closest friend
        
        Despite nine-year age gap, always included me
        
        Taylor (Wife)
        
        One of my strongest supporters. Can always rely on
        
        I derive a significant portion of self from his externalized self. Bolded Branches within this diagram are shared with him
        
        Jessica (Older)
        
        Kyleigh (Younger)
    - - Positive
        
        I have grown with friends that I did not consider myself close with in high school and have developed deep friendship and respect with them
        
        My friends in college have proved kind, empathetic, similar, and engaging and have consistently been positive influences within my life
        
        This speaks to the personal growth that I have had and had a significant impact on my mental and emotional health
      - Negative
        
        Although I didn't realize it at the time, many of the "close" friends in high school that I had made were in fact toxic and exclusionary, forbidding me from joining their groups and events but using me for assistance on homework and projects
        
        Upon cutting off one particularly toxic group, I was verbally (and in ways I don't feel comfortable expressing) harassed daily for months, eventually dying down and eventually stopping after over a year
        
        My closest (non-familial) friend began associating with incredibly bad influences and taking up poor habits, leading me to have to eventually cut him off for sake of my own mental health
    - - It took longer than I believed typical for me to finally begin dating, a fact that I was both scared and ashamed of
      - I took my first breakup with incredibly difficulty, spending the better part of a year getting over what I considered myself to have lost