Love is Blind
want for a companion and compassion for the other person helps us look over minor disagreements and conflicts of opinions.
parents
relationships: two dominant halves
The Paradox of self-deception, sometimes self-deception can be beneficial: (ex: father thinking mother is always correct.)
simple faith in each other led to happiness for both
Shankar's parents were married for 45 years
Unconditional love
father was always on her side
Shankar's father lived by a single maxim:
"on all matters big and small Shankars's mother was right."
most pften couples undermine eachother because they lack simple faith in eachother and this can cause issues
if each individual in a couple both have strong opinions it can lead to some turmoil and issues
recipe for conflict
live in world of assortative mating
Great to find someone like yourself
narcisism of small differences can turn trivial disagreements into viscous conflicts
Father believed he was in an ideal marriage
he died happy
Human traits:
Trust
Devotion
Stubborness
people tend to marry others that are alike themselves
Generalizations
Too many people, especially those that are highly educated imagine that finding a partner with whom they will be happy with over a lifetime is just a matter of insight.
imagine its possible to know whether they can spend their life together