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Restlessness - Coggle Diagram

- - - - Cheaper than LA, but remarkably worse
        
        "Worse"
        
        Trash Culture I don't Like, and never have.
        
        "Trash Culture"
        
        Never felt part of the country/cowboy/western culture growing up.
        (All of these stems add to the pain cycle/overarching narrative that "something is wrong with me/I am unacceptable")
        
        Always felt excluded from larger community based on interest
        
        4 more items...
        
        Still have a mild resistance to country clubs, which is why I work to learn two step and be comfortable in those venues.
        
        1 more item...
        
        Boring Projects at work
        
        Stagnation
        
        Frustration
        
        "Spinning my wheels"
        
        Feels unimportant
        
        How can I make it feel important?
        
        The DW didn't even want to take on the project, they were essentially bribed into it.
        
        Creatively barren
        
        How can I make it more creative?
        
        Putting my own time into lookdev, better styleframes for possibly better videos.
        
        Same videos for the past 1.5 years, boring AF
        
        Shit weather compared to LA and Texas
        
        I miss my LA friends
        
        Highly Mature
        
        Highly Intellegent
        
        Highly successful
        
        Strong appetite for life
        
        Many Visual Creatives
        
        We all had the same inside jokes about life
        
        More accomodating culture in LA
        
        Health foods
        
        A visual creative culture
        
        Surfing
        
        Beautiful people
        
        Beautiful scenery
        
        I'm making more money but spending it out of restlessness
  - - - No feelings for Meghan from me
      - No feelings from Viktoria for me
        
        Frustration
        
        Rejection Pain cycle from my Ex
        
        How can I win her over, ETC
        
        "Something is wrong with me/I am unacceptable" Pain cycle
        
        How much of my thoughts for her now are just me being nuerotic? when I would hang out with her I felt less needy than breaking off from her.
        
        She is seemingly the most interesting and beautiful girl I've met, But I know thats not true.
        
        Not true, Paige, Sofia,
        
        She allegedly does not want kids.
      - How much of me moving to Nashville was based on better percieved dating options?
        
        A lot. Which I was not fully aware of the at time, didn't pay attention to how much I was looking forward to that/making it a expectation.