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Marriage, Love A person in a marriage should express the four types of…

- - - - For a Catholic marriage to be valid, it must have these 4 qualities;
        • Spouses must enter into marriage freely: no conditions that would get in the way of this freedom • Spouses freely exchange their consent: being able to choose each other on their own with no pressure • They consent to live out what the Church means by marriage: to go through the good times and bad times and working together • Exchange vows: Catholic marriage is not just a couple but continuing sign of God's love for the world
  - - - There must be love, trust, respect, understanding and faith within a marriage
        • Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It is not just a feeling but is also a sense of unity between the couple and God. • Trust is important in any relationship. In the bible, it emphasized the sin of adultery. A husband and wife must be able to be honest with one another about who they are, their feelings, thoughts, and each other's highs and lows. • Respect shows how much you value each other. This involves the dignity of each other. Without respect partners feel devalued. "Show proper respect to everyone."(1 Peter 2:17) • Understanding each other ensures respect, and communicating with the other's needs. Essentially a husband becomes the student of his wife and a wife becomes the student of her husband for them to grow a great marriage. • Faith involves the ideals of God creating the template of life. With one's faith, they will apply these ideas to their marriage.
  - - - Video: Rings and Vows https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD1gvhk2HSk
- - - - How to give oneself away? How do we discover what our particular self-gift, our vocation, is? Or, to put it another way, how do we discern the will of God for us?
      - Steps
        • Place yourself in the presence of our loving God. • Finding a spiritual director or wise and trusted soul-friend • Pray for freedom to understand and choose what is in harmony with God's designs for you. • Realistically consider your gifts and limitations, your deep desires and needs and how they might fit well with possible life choices. • Listen to words of confirmation or affirmation from others in your process. • Question yourself: Where are you feeling at peace? What most draws you close to God? • Come to a decision through prayer and actively search out further confirmation of your choice. Offer the fullness of your choice and life to God.
  - - - Conversations
        Topics regarding, spirituality/faith, conflict resolution skills, careers, finances, intimacy, children, and commitment is essential before going into marriage or for any long term relationship :
        
        Engagement
        Engagement: when partners agree to get married
        Some other aspects of engagement to improve the bond between spouses
        • Spiritual Reading • Novenas • Marian Consecration • Inviting Others to Pray With and For Us • Premarital inventory, or PMI, is a common tool in marriage. Preparation for an engaged couple to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and each other and to identify subjects that may need consultation. This includes Better Together Inventory, Catholic Couple Checkup, Couple Checkup, F.A.C.E.T., and FOCCUS.
        
        Getting married
        It takes 6 months to prepare for the wedding. This goes past choosing a date and church, reserving a place for the reception, and picking out dresses. It means using this time to dive more deeply into your relationship and approach this day with prayer and reflection. Attend a PMI or any marriage program as it assesses what issues you already agree on and what you might need to discuss further.
      - "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." – Proverbs 16:3
  - - - Marriage is a covenant
        Marriage is a covenant so there are characteristics that must be met:
        • Unconditional Love: the love shared by the couple is indissoluble. • Freedom of Choice: the relationship is not based on force but rather respect for each other's decisions. • Responsibility for actions: the spouse in the wrong must admit their fault. • Actions are based on choices: feelings do not influence our decisions. We choose to act a certain way. • Spouses have agape love: thinking about the well-being of the other and showing their love through acts of kindness and concern. Generosity with each other brings unconditional love. • Based on beatitude behaviour: couples are intertwined to the good of each other's spirits when they follow the beatitudes.
- - - - In marriage, the couple is living out God's will in solidarity. A husband treats his wife as God treats the church, with respect and love, the same goes for the wife. Families are recognized as an important source of support and security. They can provide safe and stable environments which nurture the growth and development of each member throughout the different stages of life, from birth to old age. Being able to support one another through each other's highs and lows creating an environment that is nurturing for future generations to come.
        Hebrews 13:4 says, "Let marriage be held in honour among all." We all have a responsibility to help build a community of support and encouragement for marriage.

Love
A person in a marriage should express the four types of love:

• Storge: love between family
• Philia: love for friends
• Eros: love shared as a couple
• Agape: unconditional love (God's love)