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Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss - Coggle Diagram
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
Chapter 1 | The New Rules (How to Become the Smartest Person... in Any Room)
The Smartest Dumb Guy in the Room
Old School Negotiation
Heart Vs Mind
The FBI Gets Emotional
Life is Negotiation
The Book
Introduction
Chapter 2 | Be a Mirror (How to Quickly Establish Rapport)
September 30, 1993
Assumptions Blind, Hypothesis Guide
Calm the Schizophrenic
Slow. It. Down.
The voice
Mirroring
How to confront - and get your way - without confrontation
Key lessons
Chapter 3 | Don't Feel their Pain, Label it (How to Create Trust with Tactical Empathy)
Tactical empathy
Labeling
Neutralize the negative, reinforce the positive
Clear the road before advertising the destination
Do an accusation audit
Get a seat - and an upgrade - on a sold-out flight
Key lessons
Chapter 4 | Beware "Yes" - Master "No" (How to Generate Momentum and Make it Safe to Reveal the Real Stakes)
"No" starts the negotiation
Persuade in their world
"No" is protection
Email magic: How never to be ignored again
Key lessons
Chapter 5 | Trigger the Two Words That Immediately Transform Any Negotiation (How to Gain the Permission to Persuade)
Create a subtle epiphany
Trigger a "That's Right" with a summary
"That's Right" is great, but if "You're Right" nothing changes
Using "That's Right" to make the sale
Using "That's Right" for career success
Key lessons
Chapter 6 | Bend Their Reality (How to Shape What is Fair)
Don't compromise
Deadlines: Make time your ally
No such thing as fair
The F-Word: Why it's so powerful, when to use it, and how
How to discover the emotional drivers behind what the other party values
Bend their reality
Anchor their emotions
Let the other guy go first... most of the time
Establish a Range
Pivot to non monetary terms
When you do talk numbers, use odd ones
Surprise with a gift
How to negotiate a better salary
Be pleasantly persistent on non salary terms
Salary terms without success terms is Russian roulette
Spark their interest in your success and gain an unofficial mentor
Key lessons
Chapter 7 | Create the Illusion of Control (How to Calibrate Questions to Transform Conflict into Collaboration)
Dont try to negotiate in a firefight
There is always a team on the other side
Avoid a showdown
Suspend unbelief
Calibrate your questions
How not to get paid
Key lessons
Chapter 8 | Guarantee Execution (How to Spot the Liars and Ensure Follow-Through from Everyone Else)
"Yes" is nothing without "How"
Influencing those behind the table
Spotting liars, dealing with jerks, and charming everyone else
The 7-38-55 Percent rule
The rule of three
The Pinocchio Effect
Pay attention to their usage of pronouns
The chris discount
How to get your counterparts to bid against themselves
Key lessons
Chapter 9 | Bargain Hard (How to Get Your Price)
What type are you?
Analyst
Accommodator
Assertive
Taking a punch
Punching back: Using Assertion without getting used by it
Real Anger, Threats without anger, and strategic umbrage
"Why" Questions
"I" Messages
No neediness: Having the ready-to-walk mindset
Ackerman bargaining
Negotiating a rent cut after receiving notice of an increase
Key lessons
Chapter 10 | Find the Black Swan (How to Create Breakthroughs by Revealing the Unknown Unknows)
Finding leverage in the predictably unpredictable
Uncovering unknown unknowns
The three types of leverage
Positive leverage
Negative leverage
Normative leverage
Know their Religion
The similarity principle
The power of hopes and dreams
Religion as a reason
It's not crazy, it's a clue
Mistake 1: They are ill-informed
Mistake 2: They are constrained
Mistake 3: They have other interests
Get Face Time
Observe unguarded moments
When it doesnt make sense, there's cents to be made
Overcoming fear and learning to get what you want out of life
Key lessons
Extras
Prepare a Negotiation One Sheet
Section 1: The Goal
Think through the best and worst case scenarios but only write down a specific goal that represents the best case
Best case can turn out to be even better as the negotiation goes
Worst case is something you wont take
Keep high goals and articulate it better, you will get nore
Four steps for setting your goal
1) Set an optimistic but reasonable goal and define it clearly
2) Write it down
3) Discuss your goal with a colleague (this makes it harder to wimp out)
4) Carry the written goal into the negotiation
Section 2: Summary
Summarize and write out in just a couple of sentences the known facts that have led up to the negotiation
Think about the lay of land
Why are you there?
What do you want?
What do they want and why?
You must be able to summarize a situation in way that your counterpart will respond with a "That's right". If you don't, you have not got it right
Section 3: Labels/Accusation Audit
Prepare three to five labels to perform an accusation audit
Anticipate how your counterpart feels about these facts you've just summarized.
Make a list of accusations they might make and turn it into a list of no more than five labels and spend a little time role playing it.
Fill in the blanks questions, to extract information and defuse an accusation
It seems like
___
is valuable to you.
It seems like you don't like
___
.
It seems like you value
___
.
It seems like
___
makes it easier.
It seems like you are reluctant to
___
.
Section 4: Calibrated Questions
Prepare three to five calibrated questions to reveal value to you and your counterpart and identify and overcome potential deal killers
Effective negotiators look past into their counterparts stated positions (what the party demands) and delve into their underlying motivations (what is making them want what they want).
Motivations are what they are worried about and what they hope for, even lust for.
Small list of "What" and "How" questions
What are we trying to accomplish?
How is that worthwhile?
What is the core issue here?
How does that affect things?
What is the biggest challenge you face?
How does this fit into what the objective is?
Questions to identify behind-the-table deal killers
When implementation happens by committee, the support of that committee is key.
Tailor calibrated questions to identify and unearth motivations of those behind the table
How does this affect the rest of your team?
How on board are the people not on this call?
What do your colleagues see as their main challenges in this area?
Questions to identify and diffuse deal-killing issues
Put aside money for now
Often it has more to do with self-esteem, status, autonomy and other nonfinancial needs
Think about their perceived loss. Loss stings more than profit.
Questions to use to unearth the deal-killing issues
Questions
What are we up against here?
What is the biggest challenge you face?
how does making a deal with us affect things?
What happens if you do nothing?
What does doing nothing cost you?
How does making this deal resonate with what your company prides itself on?
Ask these in a groups of two are three as they are similar enough for your counterpart think about it from different angles
Be ready to execute follow-up labels to their answers to your calibrated questions
It seems like
___
is important.
It seems you feel like my company is in a unique position to
___
.
It seems like you are worried that
___
.
Section 5: Non Cash offers
Prepare a list of noncash items possessed by your counterpart that would be valuable.
Ask yourself what could they give that would almost get us to do it for free?
Intro
List of primary tools you anticipate using, such as labels and calibrated questions, customized to the negotiation
Be agile and creative, it is not good to have pre prepared scripts