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elements of mentoring - Coggle Diagram

- - - - the character virtue of care
      - a sincere and generative interest in the growth of others
  - - - mentor dilutes the power of mentoring in the lives of protégés.
      - mentor diminishes own enjoyment of the mentoring experience
    - - Failure to set limits indicates poor assertiveness skills or fear of rejection.
      - an unhealthy need for approval or an insatiable need to be needed
      - reflect a mentor’s misunderstanding of the actual professional requirements and emotional demands of good mentorship
  - - - ability to name the protégé’s prominent gifts
      - naming them accurately, thoroughly, and always specific
      - making explicit what is often implicit
        
        powerful but necessary shift occurs in protégé’s conception of self
  - - - people perform at the level of their own internalized standards
      - often they settle for less
      - paradoxically, most people are more capable than they think
      - need a change in expectations
      - Mentors should expect more than their protégés expect of themselves
      - this raises their expectations and lifts their performance
    - - juniors rise to meet the expectations of mentors
      - when mentorship is characterized by trust, support, mutual respect
      - through two salient channels
        
        model confidence, competence, professionalism, and strong adherence to standards of excellence.
        
        directly verbalize their high expectations to protégés
        
        simultaneously communicate unwavering confidence
      - what makes mentors ineffective in exacting expectations
        
        mentors may set their expectations too low
        
        net effect of their kindness, caring attitude and modest requirements is pervasive mediocrity
        
        Only the most self-directed and motivated protégés will thrive when expectations are low
        
        make stringent demands without instilling confidence
        
        like making the journey from neophyte to excellent performer without equipment and provisions
        
        disheartening for the protege
        
        intentionally or not send expectations for perfection
        
        demands for flawless performance sabotage the efforts of the most well-intended mentor
        
        unable to reach perfection, protégés can become disenchanted, hopeless, and depressed
        
        ironically, many excellent protégés are already dangerously perfectionistic
  - - - speak a kind word
      - lift a protégé’s spirit
      - encourage a protégé to stay the course
      - be a sounding board when there is a need
  - - - professional competence and career satisfaction
        
        perceived inadequacy; impostor syndrome
        
        buffeted by overwhelming demands, insecurity; emotional needs rise to surface
        
        may want reassurance they can succeed
      - managing professional relationships
        
        managing difficult colleagues or supervisors
        
        helping without parenting; protecting without smothering
      - managing competing demands of career and personal life
        
        various roles - professional, spouse, parent, child, community member
        
        struggle balancing their responsibilities and fragmented identities
    - - recognize limitations
        
        never pretend as professional counselor
        
        don't expect to help with all problems
        
        don't attempt to treat obvious mental health issues
      - still allow proteges to explore issues in mentorship context
        
        active listening and accurate understanding of other's feelings
        
        assistance in goal setting
        
        help proteges to accept & overcome inner doubt; personal obstacles
        
        normalize the existence of problems and distress
        
        facilitate problem solving
      - bear responsibility of offering wise counsel
        
        inevitable in mentoring
        
        facilitates protege's personal and professional development
      - discourage proteges to use mentoring as professional counseling
        
        discretion in where support begins and ends
        
        help proteges develop discretion to know how to maintain boundaries
  - - - bureaucratic entanglements
      - conflict with colleagues
      - hostile criticism
      - assignment to tasks likely to sabotage success :warning:
      - one's own poor decision making
  - - - :check: shape performance through successive approximations
      - incrementally difficult assignments
      - immediate expectations should not supercede current ability
      - find optimal beginning point; shape according to pace of development
      - aim high; but do not start too low or too high
      - :check: find right challenge for your protege
      - :check: help proteges manage their anxiety
      - performance anxiety comes with territory of growth and development
      - can hinder or enhance developing protege; depending on how managed
      - teach proteges; anxiety is normal and should be anticipated; anxiety should be used as a source of motivation
  - - - is everything when providing correction
      - palatable and useful after initial phase of mentorship
      - personal insecurities become less troubling
    - - state disturbances are situational, transient
      - trait disturbances are characterological, rooted in foundation