handmaid: Dreams of the past "They're my clothes alright...black, blue, purpple, jackets, skirts... Luke is there behind me, but he won't look at me...luke...it occours to me that he may not be alive" // In dreams she is with luke, doing mundane things from the past, associates his companionship with choice and what she lost, remindingn herself of the possibilities and of love
I ought to have done that with Luke, paid more attention, to the details, the moles and scars, the singular creases; I didn't and he's fading. Day by day, night by night he recedes, and I become more faithless. (40.15)
Intimate details, love as sustaining, comparative "more and more faithless", not completly faithless, sustaining in a world without "faith"
"its the message that keeps me alive, I believe in the message" - love and intimade understanding and absolution is sustaining