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care and counseling skills for marital care - Coggle Diagram
care and counseling skills for marital care
Signs of Gridlock (p.141)
become entrenched in your positions and are unwilling to budge
when you discuss a subject you end up feeling more frustrated and hurt
keep talking but make no headway
Your conversations about it are void of humor, amusement, or affection.
Conflict makes you feel rejected
You become more unbudgeable overtime and villify each other during the conversation.
The villification makes you all the more rooted in your postion and plorized in your views. Unwilling to compromise.
Eventually you disengage from eacother emotionally
Encourage Shared influence Ch. 7 Gottman
Mutual respect is Biblical. Do you want to make decisions that leave your wife feeling disrespected? You can still be the leader but consider your wives perspectives. (118)
Husbands who accept influence make better fathers (124)
Husbands should search for common ground in disagreements (116)
Women usually let men influence their decision (p116)
It's an attitude but also a skill you can hone (126)
Study with 130 couples. When a man won't share power 81% marriages will self destruct (p116)
Work on solvable problems (141)
Learn effective use of repair attempts
Guard against flooding
Have a gentle start up
Solveable problems can still cause pain and go unresolved (141)
Become more tolerant of each others imperfections.
Determine if the conflict is gridlocked Ch. 8
You don't have to solve conflict to thrive (139)
Develop strategy and routines to ease conflict (139)
69% of conflict is unsolvable (138)
When picking a spouse choose problems you can cope with (139)
break the pattern of having the same conversation over and over and digging in your feet. It leads to the roach motel. (140)
Explore hidden issues that keep you gridlocked (141)
Uncover and share with each other the significant personal dreams you have for your life. (141)
Gridlock can actually be unifying if you find a way to honor both dreams.