Starting Point

Probing Question

Response

Reframe

Session with Suzanne, friend. Jan. 24/2021

I'm feeling unwanted professionally, as I wait for yet another response from another job interview. - 6

I feel unwanted professionally because...

Because at my age, it's so much harder. People I'm interviewing for are young & think I'm over the hill.

And that makes me feel?

That I lack control.

Can we ever control other people? (no)

How does that make you feel?

Helpless. - 7

I feel helpless because...

Because there's no way to deal with that.

That's right. So can you let control go?

It don't know what will come up. It's the not knowing that's scary. I don't like change.

And I feel fearful of change because...

It's scary.

I feel scared because...

Because it's not always what I want.

Have there been instances in the past where you couldn't plan out the result and suddenly, you were surprised by how something turned out but I'm actually so glad it did?

Yeah, my move to Windsor was good. I didn't think I'd move but then a job came up, I took it and it was a good move for me.

Could you have figured out all the steps that ended up happening, ahead of time? (no)

So you had no control. (smiles & chuckles) So it actually worked out in your favour, even though it might not have been completely perfect, it still ended up pretty good in the end?

Yes it did.

And what about your son. After 32 years of being a mom, I'm sure you've learned that you can't control him. But

But he turned out pretty amazing!

Exactly. He made his own choices. (yes) And what you could control was being a great mom, the best you could do. (yes) You have a great son and you couldn't control it all. (yeah)

So how does that fearful feeling feel now?

It feels lighter. I have let go in the past and it has turned out okay.

So that helpless feeling at a 7, how does that feel?

A 4.

And I still feel helpless because...

Because it doesn't always turn out good.

We've known each other for a long time, through divorce and not so good times. On the other side those times, wasn't it good for us in a way, even though it didn't feel good?

Yes, I came through stronger, happier

So the universe brings us contrast to teach us to grow. So this helpless feeling at a 4, if these people who may or may not give you this job do or don't, either way, isn't it still 'good'?

Yes, there could be something better, yeah, like an opportunity that I don't see right now.

Who knows right? So the lack of control at an 8, where's that at?

A 2 maybe.

What's the feeling?

Uncertainty.

And I feel uncertain because...

Cause I don't know where I'll go, what I'll end up doing.

Do you believe you are a creative being and that you've brought everything into your life thus far?

Yes, but is it only me that's creating it; I'm not sure.

Yes, great point. We're co-creators. We bring in cooperative elements, like synchronicities for example. Have you had those?

Yeah, I had that with my dog. (tells story about how she found her current pup with little effort and total ease)

Did you have to effort your dog into being?

No, it just happened!

(me nodding my head, her realizing, pause, smile) "It just fell in my lap."

You are a creative being. When you let go, it just comes into being. You weren't gripping on, "I gotta get a dog, I gotta get a dog."

No.

So why are you saying, "I gotta get a job. I gotta get a job." Just let it go.

(smiles) Yeah.

How's that helpless feeling - It's gone!

Lack of control? - Gone!

That unwanted feeling? - Gone

Your dog found you! And same with your husband! You just got married a few months ago and you had been single for years right? (yes)

You've got love, a great home, a dog. You're so close. You're creating everything you desire!

So continue to let it go, journal out positive affirmations, feel good statements like my coach who says, "Everything I want is chasing me." Love found you, your dog found you and your new job will too.

Okay. (smiles) You have had other jobs in the past, you do have the experience and education and being 60 years old, you're bring so much more to the table! And if this current job offer doesn't realize it, someone else will.

Yeah, I got this! I feel good!