Psychology Research - Fear of Intimacy
Types of intimacy
Intellectual
Emotional
Experiential
Sexual
Liking the same hobbies, interests and experiences
Bonding through deep conversations and sharing thoughts and ideas together
Feeling comfortable sharing your innermost emotional feelings
Feeling comfortable within a close sensual relationship
Fear of intimacy
Causes
What is it?
Risk Factors
The Fear of intimacy is a fear of forming a close physical or emotional bond with another person, it is the fear of showing vulnerability towards another person.
Intimacy
When someone can genuinely share their true self with another person through closeness of thoughts, feelings and trust.
vulnerability
Opening up to someone in a way would mean you usually dont talk about this to people, its not something everyone knows, therefore showing a vulnerability,
The other person could use the vulnerability against them, but the person opening up and showing that vulnerability trusts them enough to talk about it
Trust
"firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something."
-Google Dictionary
A person with a fear of intimacy can still feel comfortable showing vulnerability to people such as close friends and family
Fear of vulnerability is different but can be related to to a fear of intimacy
Usually starts when a person feels that the relationship they are forming is becoming way too close or intimate
Fear of Engulfment
Anxiety Disorder
Fear of Abandonment
Emotional Neglect
Loss of a Parent
Enmeshed Family
Parental illness
Parental mental illness
Parental Substance Abuse
Physical or Sexual Abuse
Neglect
Verbal abuse
Must research each risk factor individually
Must research each Cause individually
Many people with a fear of intimacy want to feel intimacy but end up pushing people away instead.
General Fear of Intimacy reference
Notes
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Self esteem
having a low self esteem seems to conflict with others intimacy towards a person, as they might feel that they dont look attractive for example, whereas someone may compliment them and instead of accepting the compliment, theyll reject it because it doesn't coincide with how they already think and feel about themself
psychalive.org/fear-of-intimacy/
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What is Engulfment?
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Engulfment can happen in any relationship, and can happen briefly at any point, even between mother and child, after an engulfment period, both parties will slowly break back into independency while striking a balance
Love should not be confused with engulment.
Where someone lets relationships take over their life, they get too submerged and feel that everything they do should revolve around the relationship, therefore losing themselves. Therefore, without realising, this can affect the other person in the relationship by swallowing up their life and overwhelming them in the process.
Someone who suffers from engulfment can lose their sense of self and identity
Even though it happens in intimate relationships, usually early on, it can cause damage if it doesn't calm down. After a brief sense of engulfment, both partners will go back to also enjoying their own hobbies and time, and will strike a good balance between the relationship and self care
Love is not about being so blinded by emotions that we revolve ourselves around it, or to lose ourselves in a relationship, this is just not healthy
Love is to recognise, understand, compromise, respect and support one another, but this cannot be done if we lose ourselves
"The trouble arises when the break and seeking of balance doesn’t happen. When instead, you let the rest of your life fall to the side and become certain that the relationship you are in is the only important thing. You must make the relationship work at all costs. And that cost might be your career, your physical health, your social life and even your financial stability." - https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/what-is-engulfment.htm
Causes of Engulfment
Feeling misunderstood
Fear of abandonment
Low self-esteem
Loneliness
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