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my behaviours preventing a healthy relationship - Coggle Diagram
my behaviours preventing a healthy relationship
defensiveness
i find myself getting defensive when Josh airs his negative feelings towards something I have done and/or said
this is counter productive as it results in an argument every time it happens
next steps
wait until Josh has completely finished airing his thoughts before responding
put myself into Josh's shoes in attempt to understand how my behaviour would have made him feel
make it clear that i acknowledge how that my actions have upset him by apologising
fully clear the air before moving on, don't allow Josh to remain annoyed as that just creates further tension
stubborness
being stubborn gets situations nowhere
next steps
put my pride to the side
double text if necessary
stop dwelling on the negative
silent treatment
when i find myself annoyed, i tend to find myself unable to act 'normally' and i remain blunt for as long as possible
next steps
understand what has annoyed me and air it to Josh in a respectful manner
any discussions that involve a potential problem should be done on the phone/face to face where possible - tone is hard to read over text
utilising the safe word in order to prepare Josh to expect me to talk about my feelings, preventing a blind side
if worst comes to worse and i need space, ask Josh if that is okay before ignoring him/being blunt for 'no reason'