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Lecture 5: Verbal Messages: communicate with words - Coggle Diagram
Lecture 5: Verbal Messages: communicate with words
The seven principles of verbal messages
Meanings are in people
• Meaning is determined by: words, and by people
Messages are denotative and connotative
Denotative: • The meaning from the dictionary
Connotative: • The emotional meaning speakers and
listeners give to a word
Messages can be onymous (signed messages) or anonymous (author not identified)
Onymous
• “Signed”
• Have an identified sender
• Sender has to deal with message consequences
Anonymous
• Author not known
• Allows for open disclosure
Messages depends on context
Cultural context
Gender context
Messages vary in politeness
Polite messages
• Reflect positively
• Respectful
• Less Direct
Impolite messages
• Attacking
• Autonomous
• More Direct
Messages vary in assertiveness
Nonassertive Messages
• Does not express your true thoughts or needs
• Gives into others without concern for yourself
• Often requests permission from others when it is not needed
• “You win, I lose”
Assertive Messages
• Express your true thoughts
• Are respectful of others
• May disagree with the thoughts of others
• “I win, you win”
Messages can deceive: not all messages or people are truthful
Types of lies
• Pro-social deception
• Self-enhancement deception
• Selfish deception
• Anti-social deception
Behaviors Accompanying Lying
• Liars hold back.
• Liars make less sense.
• Liars give a more negative impression.
• Liars are tense.
Confirmation and Disconfirmation
Confirmation
• Acknowledges the other person’s presence and importance
• Shows acceptance and respect of the person and relationship
Disconfirmation
• Ignoring the other person and their communication
• Denies the other person’s significance
Racism
• Disconfirming
• Negative attitudes or beliefs about specific races or ethnic groups
• Institutionalized Racism
• Racist Language
Avoid:
• Using derogatory terms
• Using stereotypes
• Referring to race when its irrelevant
• Over attribution
Heterosexism
• Attitudes, behaviors, and language that disparage gay and lesbians
• The belief that heterosexuality is the “natural” form of sexual behavior
• To be confirming:
• Avoid nonverbal mannerisms that parody stereotypes
• Avoid comments like “you don’t look it” or “what a waste”
• Avoid assumptions and over attribution
• Acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries
• Be inclusive of partners on invitations
Sexism
• Prejudicial attitudes or discrimination towards men or women based on gender roles.
• Sexist language
• To avoid sexism:
• Avoid using the words man, he, and his generically
• Avoid sex role stereotyping
Ageism
• Discrimination, negative stereotypes, or disrespect based on age—young or old.
• To avoid ageism:
• Avoid talking down to older individuals
• Refrain from refreshing an older person’s memory
• Avoid implying relationships are no longer important
• Speak at a normal volume
• Engage all people in conversation
Cultural Identifiers
• Avoid racism, heterosexism, ageism, and sexism by referring to groups as they prefer to be called
• Consider:
• Race and Nationality
• Affectional Orientation
• Age and Sex
Using Verbal Messages Effectively
• Focus on the Actual
• Recognize Complexity
• Distinguish Between Facts and Inferences
• Discriminate Among
• Talk About the Middle
• Update Messages