Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
Theme: Growing up-Pain or Pleasure
Sexual Assault
Depression/Suicide Thoughts
Abandoned
Leonard was sexually assaulted by Asher for two years. (Page 185)
“Showed him how to have a good time” -Asher Beal+ Asher Beal’s uncle. (Page 185) This quote was how Asher psychologically tricked him to have sex.
“You know men can be raped, right?” -Herr Silverman (Page 219) This sentence opened Leonard’s mind to the fact that he has gone through sexual abuse since he’s blocked it out for a long time.
“I should have killed him” (Page 217) This was when Leonard told Herr Silverman he wanted to kill Asher Beal as revenge.
“I feel like I’m broken--like I don’t fit together anymore. Like there’s no more room for me in the world or something. Like I’ve overstayed my welcome here on Earth, and everyone’s trying to give me hints about that constantly. Like I should just check out.” -Leonard Peacock (Page 219)
“I can’t even kill myself properly” -Leonard Peacock (Page 220)
“I’ve delivered all of my presents, so now it’s finally time to kill Asher Beal. Let’s get this birthday party started! I’m so ready to be done with this life. It will be so so beautiful to finally be end-of-the-road done. This will be the best birthday present ever; I’m pretty sure of that.” -Leonard Peacock (Page 170)
Throughout the book Leonard was very suicidal and couldn’t wait for his plan to go well so he can commit a murder-suicide.
“Maybe I really should have killed myself.” -Leonard Peacock (Page 234)
His mom is always out to be with his French boyfriend rather than spending time with her son. Also, she forgot it was her son's birthday.
In chapter 37 Leonard wanted to make chocolate banana pancakes with his mom but she was too busy with her work.
His dad is nowhere to be found which had an impact on Leonard considering they were fairly close when Leonard was a child.
Leonard wanted to abandon his friends and family by committing a murder-suicide.
Leonard was also abandoned by Asher, when Asher was beating him up and was too “cool” for Leonard.
When Leonard went to give Baback his university fund, Baback didn’t believe it and was very rude to Leonard.
Fear of being an adult
Leonard has hope for the future to see what it was like to be an adult and follow them around everyday.
“These same awful students transform themselves in front of adults in power, so they can get the good college letters of recommendation and special privileges” -Leonard (Page 112) This shows how Leonard doesn’t want to be like the other students and show his true self to the “powerful” adults. He thinks that when he gets older he won’t be able to realize which teenager is putting up a front.
“People love power” -Leonard (Page 187) Leonard knows that people love power even in highschool. Power is what gets everyone to follow a leader and have only one person to be in control.
“Don’t do it. Don’t go to that job you hate. Do something today.” -Leonard (Page 46) He tells people this through mind telepathy so they don’t have to go to their boring 9-5 job.
Leonard thinks that every adult is always miserable when commuting to and from work.
Leonard thinks that if adults don’t have it better he’ll lose hope on wanting to live because he fears that when he grows up it won’t be worth it.
“--if it doesn’t get better, I need to know now. Just tell me. Spare me from some awful fucking fate. Please.” -Leonard Peacock (Page 47)
Abuse
There was a lack of emotional affection from his parents since they were never around.
"Boys will be boys” -Leonard’s father (Page 179)
In page 179 Asher would abuse Leonard by always beating him up because Leonard didn’t want to hang out with him.
Leonard went through sexual abuse for two years when Asher raped him and Leonard was too young to understand.
There was a lot of emotional abuse from Asher because he psychologically tricked him to have sex.
Empathy
Leonard gave presents to the few people he cared about to show them one last affection before he committed a murder-suicide.
“I should have said something--not just to stick up for myself, but because I think Asher wanted me to save him.” -Leonard (Page 181) This was when Leonard felt bad that he never intervened to tell Asher’s parents and others what was happening.
“Maybe that’s how rapists justify their actions. Maybe I’m a monster now.” -Leonard (Page 168) Leonard felt bad that he kissed Lauren when she wanted him to stop.
When Lauren was getting yelled at by a homeless man, Leonard stepped in and made him go away.
When Leonard made Ms Giavotella cry, he felt bad and apologized after by calling her a great teacher, but it was too late.