past + opportunity = something from your past you have the ability to change or re-write

dust + past = things that we mentally forget about and put in places we don't regularly go.

late + past = coming to the realization of what you should have done long ago

in total control = sitting shotgun while PTSD drives the car backwards

soldier = a topic I don't dare want to compare experiences to

hospital = past trauma is like a tumor that needs to be removed

crazy = I'd be crazy to look at the past and want to remain the same

detached = what makes me attached to the past detaches me from what I can do moving forward

in an instant = little cues and reminders and metaphors out there in the world that send you back to the past

tense = carrying the burdens of the self weighs down the physical body

here = is wherever I am going to make me remember the past I'm trying to forget?

a gift = now I have the experience to learn and grow

give a speech = talk about past achievements and give a state of how things have gone, for better or wose

"state of the reunion"

crunch = studying for my own history exam and waiting until the last minute; sitting in a room staring at a chalkboard of cliff notes that sums up my life.

stamp = something that commemorates that time in my life; ie, a comical series of failures and maybe one trivial achievement

flies = I'm starting to wonder if they think I'm decaying

The flies are playing the "waiting game."

magazine = how would I sell the city to readers?

stock = it was a good time to cash out early

gambling = how does the past indicate how you will play the odds on this one?

endeavors = past endeavors is fancy for 'bad,' but future endeavors is fancy for 'we really don't care, to be quite honest.'

scene = entire memories are usually boiled down to a singular moment

peak = 'ain't like I used to' would be considered a compliment

piece = a puzzle or a puzzle piece; am I so messed up I even know what the picture would be when it's completed?

pump = a constant stream of unconscious to conscious displeasure

number = a conscious sobriety chip? an aspirational number that marks something really positive?

rib = another moment that I'll remember despite trying not to

optimal = I've been running on the wrong kind of gas this whole time

forever = the past is, the future doesn't have to be, so the making the most of the present is always most important

alone = thinking of past relationships highlights just how alone I always feel

yearbook = i tried to tell myself that forgetting senior year would've been the best thing for me, so I actively did not participate in signing others or having others sign mine. I really want to know what that kid was so upset about.

photos = it takes a lot for me to want to be in one, let alone keep one. so what would be the photo I keep?

souvenir = something to remember where you were, usually a really shitty tchotchke